Hi, I thought we would reflect upon this important topic today as it has some interesting facts for us to contemplate.
Especially for those of us who have experienced life changing traumatic events.
First, let’s get our cuppa organized…today I thought a Japanese Apple blossom tea sounded exciting & as an accompaniment a yummy Coconut Ice bite.
The apple tea is lovely & the treat is scrumptious! Shall we begin our reflection together…
What does trauma mean?
Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience…or injury to the body.
However, I believe these are not necessarily mutually exclusive & the science confirms this!
A traumatic event can come to anyone of us, at any time, quite often hitting us from left field when we least expect it.
It comes with the harsh reality that life, as we knew it, will be forever changed.
Trauma may hit us initially through an emotional, physical or mental health situation.
But in whatever form it comes to us, it’s guaranteed to impact every aspect of our lives.
When the trauma is so severe or several traumatic events happen in succession of each other, not giving the mind & body time to process & recover then the condition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) may develop.
This can be a crippling mental health condition & needs professional support.
Why does life change through trauma?
Trauma affects the whole body, as mentioned above, in a way that is not widely acknowledged.
It has been found that the impact of trauma extends to the very micro level of our beings even placing little memory keys upon our DNA, through changing our epigenome.
These trauma memory keys lock or unlock little chemical markers on certain genes! Ref
However, were you aware that our subconscious mind retains memory markers too, even down to remembering the time of the year the trauma occurred?
Let me personalize this…
Recently, I have been feeling not quite myself... At first I put this down to this year’s events with the unexpected emergency… with my husband Steve & a medical emergency we recently had with my eldest daughter.
But as you may know, I find reflective journaling & prayer very useful when I feel a shift in my emotional wellbeing.
So…as I reflected upon how I had traveled emotionally within these events, I saw that while these events were traumatic & unsettling within themselves & collectively, they were not explaining the intensity of the shift in my emotions that I was experiencing.
I then had a lightbulb moment…
Realizing it’s that time of the year again!
My attention has been so focused upon the things of the present, which is normal & healthy, that I had not realized that time was approaching but my subconscious mind had & my spirit had reacted.
The reason…
This is the time of the year when my late husband Ed was diagnosed with brain cancer, called Glioblastoma Multiforme grade 4.
The symptoms & events leading to diagnosis, the emergency Medivac flight to Sydney, his urgent neurosurgery & resulting terminal prognosis was so traumatic for me that it has left an indelible mark upon my subconscious.
Which my spirit & body react to involuntarily at this time each year.
Though I have moved forward in the acceptance of his passing & continue healing in God’s love & grace…shared in Mending brokenness.
There is still the memory marker & this is a subconscious reaction.
You see we only had twelve weeks from his diagnosis to his death & while those twelve weeks were very, very precious they were also very traumatic.
Walking with your husband to heaven’s door through the progression of an aggressive brain tumor is excruciating.
One I could not have done nor survived without God’s strength, especially after having previously walked to heaven’s door with my daughter Candy & then my son Benjamin.
I do have beautiful memories of my marriage to my late husband & these are the ones I choose to focus upon when this wave of grief hits.
The happy memories of our life together which always brings a smile to my face.
Remembering those special times we had & the love of a sweet gentle man with amazing integrity.
Who treated me with such gentleness, respect & honor the entire time we were together, my cup overflowed!
Indeed such love & blessing will last a lifetime!
A word of Advice
I’m here to tell you dear friend that it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to have a few tears in remembrance of the good & painful times.
Whether your trauma memory is from the death of a loved one or from another traumatic event…
It’s okay to grieve!
This is a time in which we need to be very gentle & kind to ourselves allowing the wave of grief, whether in tears or in quiet meditative reflection, to flow over us.
For in time it will slowly ebb away. Releasing us to continue in our present season.
Until next time…
Jennifer
You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook
Or in Prayer
© 2019 Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photo by Pixabay & Saya Kimura on Pexels.com
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Thank you for sharing these insights, Jennifer! This is actually something I was thinking about recently – that there is something about a certain time of year that always seems to bring things to the surface. It’s good to have it confirmed that there actually is a reason for this. Praying for you in this difficult time of remembering.
Yes, it’s very helpful to be aware of how are subconscious mind works, then we can be prepared for those particular times.
Thank you for your prayers Lesley 😀
I wholeheartedly agree, Jennifer! There are so many who do not know how to grieve well, but it’s so very important to our health and ability to embrace all that is left and alive in lives. I’m sorry that you’re going through a milestone recurrence, though I’m glad you’ve recognized where your sadness and grief is coming from. I’ll be praying for you and am thankful you’ve highlighted this very important matter–giving us insight into how to navigate these traumas and losses better. I’ll be tweeting!
Thank you I appreciate your prayer :-D. It is important to recognize & be able to allow oneself to go through the process, which is part of the ongoing healing…
So sensitively written Jennifer! My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. Xx
Thank you Marie 🙂
Thank you, Jennifer! Your words ring very true for me. We have a traumatic springtime event in our family and many years my body aches and the sadness hits before I remember the anniversary is near. Thank you for sharing your story and helping us all process our own grief with greater wisdom. God bless you!
Sending blessings to you Deb…
Our body’s & minds are so wonderfully made…but become very traumatized by these life changing experiences…
We do all have our unique ways in processing our grief but being gentle & kind with ourselves in these times is very important 🙂
Bless you…
So many things can trigger a deep emotional response without us quite understanding why sometimes. My dearest friend lost a son in a traffic pileup and each year at that time she really lays low and spends extra time with God. Peace to you.
Thank you Elizabeth…your friend is being wise in taking time out…
She gets restored, usually on the coast.
The seaside is very restorative 😀
Dear Jennifer,
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable to share the hard things of your story with us here. Such traumatic events that you have walked through! But the Lord has brought such sweet gifts for you to share, as we can see the ways that He has been so close to you and brought you such peace even through the grieving. As I am working on my timeline for a writers’ course, I pray that I will allow Him to show me the grieving and the loving that He has walked me through as well. Blessings and love to you.
Thank you Bettie for your sweet & kind words. I always pray that others may find His love & comfort, as I do, in their own personal experiences ♥
You are in my prayers, my friend, especially during this time of the year. May the Lord be with you
Thank you Brenda, I really appreciate your prayers ♥
You have them, free of charge but sent to the One who gives peace 🙂
So powerfully explained, Jennifer! This topic can be a mystery to many and you unpacked it in a way that makes it so clear through your information and the personal story examples as well. Thank you for this excellent work on the topic. Have a blessed weekend! 🌹
Thank you Pam for your encouraging & kind words, lovely to have you drop by ♥
So much anxiety in the world now. I am particularly concerned about children.
Yes, moving forward from this stressful time in this panademic will take great wisdom both from parents, teachers, youth pastors/workers & adolescent mental health professionals Michele.
Thank you for sharing ❤️
You’re most welcome, lovely to have you join me here for a time together 😀
Thank you Jennifer, “there is a time to mourn”. Your thoughts are always so helpful in navigating our short journey here on earth.
Hugs,
Pam
Life goes so quickly doesn’t Pam! ♥