Life after Trauma

Hi, I thought we would reflect upon this important topic today as it has some interesting facts for us to contemplate. Especially for those of us who have experienced life changing traumas.

First, let’s get our cuppa organized…today I thought a Japanese Apple blossom tea sounded exciting & as an accompaniment a yummy Coconut Ice bite.

Have you got your cuppa & treat ready dear friend? Are you seated in your comfy spot? I am….because it’s a cold autumn day here today, I’m sitting indoors, in my warm & cozy spot.

The apple tea is lovely & the treat is scrumptious! Shall we begin our reflection together…

What does trauma mean?

Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience… or an injury to the body.

However, I believe these are not necessarily mutually exclusive & the science confirms this!

A traumatic event can come to anyone of us, at any time, quite often hitting us from left field when we least expect it. It comes with the harsh reality that life, as we knew it, will be forever changed.

Trauma may hit us initially through an emotional, physical or mental health situation. But however it comes to us, it’s guaranteed to impact every aspect of our lives.

When the trauma is so severe or several traumatic events happen in succession of each other, not giving the mind & body time to process & recover then the condition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) may develop. This can be a crippling mental health condition & needs professional support.

Why does life change through trauma?

Trauma affects the whole body, as mentioned above, in a way that is not widely acknowledged. It has been found that the impact of trauma extends to the very micro level of our beings..even placing little memory keys upon our DNA, through changing our epigenome, these trauma memory keys lock or unlock little chemical markers on certain genes! Refer 2 

But…were you aware that our subconscious mind retains memory markers too, even down to remembering the time of the year the trauma occurred?

Let me personalize this…

Recently, I have been feeling not quite myself... At first I put this down to this year’s events with the unexpected emergency…  with my husband Steve & a medical emergency we recently had with my eldest daughter. Additionally having just undergone my own surgery, after it had been delayed & rescheduled, shared in A new lens needed! And the impact these events have had on my chronic condition of Fibromyalgia…

But as you may know, I find reflective journaling & prayer very useful when I feel a shift in my emotional wellbeing.

So…as I reflected upon how I had traveled emotionally within these events, I saw that though these events were traumatic & unsettling within themselves & collectively, they were not explaining the intensity of the shift I was experiencing…

I then had a lightbulb moment…& realized it’s that time of the year again!

My attention has been so focused upon the things of the present, which is normal & healthy, that I had not realized that time was approaching…but my subconscious mind had & my spirit had reacted…

The reason…

This is the time of the year when my late husband was diagnosed with brain cancer, called Glioblastoma Multiforme grade 4. The symptoms & events leading to diagnosis, the emergency medivac flight to Sydney, his urgent neurosurgery & resulting terminal prognosis was so traumatic for me that it has left an indelible mark upon my subconscious…

Which my spirit & body react to involuntarily at this time each year. Though I have moved forward in the acceptance of his passing & continue healing in God’s love & grace…shared in Mending brokenness…There is this subconscious reaction. 

You see we only had twelve weeks from his diagnosis to his death…& while those twelve weeks were very, very precious they were also very traumatic…walking with your husband to heaven’s door through the progression of an aggressive brain tumor is excruciatingly painful emotionally…

One I could not have done nor survived without God’s strength, especially after having previously walked to heaven’s door with my daughter Candy & then my son Benjamin…

I have beautiful memories of my marriage to my late husband & these are the ones I choose to focus upon when this wave of grief hits…

The happy memories of our life together which always brings a smile to my face. Remembering those special times we had…the healing love of a sweet gentle man with such amazing integrity who treated me with such gentleness, respect & honor the entire time we were together…my cup overflowed! Indeed such love & blessing will last a lifetime!

I’m here to tell you dear friend that it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to have a few tears in remembrance of the good times & the painful ones.

Whether your trauma memory is from the death of a loved one or from another traumatic event…It’s okay to grieve!

This is a time in which we need to be very gentle & kind to ourselves…allowing the wave of grief, whether in tears or in quiet meditative reflection, to flow over us…as in time it will slowly ebb away. Releasing us to continue on our present path, into to the present season of our lives…

Until next time…

Jennifer

 

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