How to deal with the cycle of Disappointment

Do you find life can feel awfully disappointing at times & that this feeling can come round at similar times each year?

Almost like a Groundhog (movie) experience. I have noticed this over the last decade in my life.

Let’s explore this particular phenomenon together.

It’s been quite hot here as our Summer has finally arrived in mid February on the east coast of Australia!

So we have retreated indoors where it’s a bit cooler today.

I have prepared a little tray with mugs of Chai tea or coffee if you prefer & a couple of home baked blueberry muffins.

I’m feeling a little disappointed today!

Before I share why I’m feeling this way let’s look at what disappointment is;

The definition of disappointment; the feeling of sadness or displeasure in unmet hopes &/or expectations. 

Which means if we are feeling disappointed, then we held a hope or an expectation of a particular outcome for a certain person, situation or issue that would be fulfilled in the manner in which we had hoped.

a white dog laying on wooden floor

The top layer of feeling disappointed is a flare in my health conditions over these past six weeks causing me to have to postpone or cancel many things.

Although the demands of these conditions are not new to me, after all I have been dealing with them for the past 17 years & know that this flare will pass in time.

So why am I feeling so disappointed?

I realized what had happened is that my hopes & expectations had been building little by little.

Have you ever had that experience my friend?

When your hopes, dreams or expectations for a situation are dashed then disappointment hits & hits hard!

Realizing that subconsciously you had very high hopes & far greater expectations for the situation.

But now they lay disappointingly & painfully unfulfilled.

This is the time we need to stop,

reflect & reassess!

And not continue to languish in the muddy hole of disappointment but look up.

Sure we need to recognize & validate our feelings that may have edged into sadness.

But then let us get on with reassessing where we’re at!

Let’s start peeling back the layers to get to the true core of why we’re feeding disappointed.

For there is always a deeper issue at hand fueling the surface layer.

Making this personal…

The surface layer = disappointment with a flare in chronic health conditions & missing out on life. It’s about loss…

Underneath the surface = loss in the deeper unfulfilled hope of being healthy again as I was before chronic illness. It’s also about grief.

The central core = it’s about loss & grief…

Ahhh, at the deepest level it’s about loss & grief as it’s not just my chronic health conditions but it’s also the anniversary of my son Benjamin’s passing & his birthday today. Candy & Benjamin’s story here.

It’s about residual grief…

Thus, I need to be kind to myself at this time for God promised the following;

“…I will turn their grief into joy.

And will comfort them,


give them joy for their sorrow.” 

Jeremiah 31:13

The feeling of disappointment comes to us all, it’s how we process what’s at the core that counts.

Are you feeling disappointed with something in your life?

Then try the exercise above to get to the core issue.

Until next time,


You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook


In Prayer

© 2023 Jennifer M. Ross, All Rights Reserved. Photo by Tanya Gorelova on 

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12 thoughts on “How to deal with the cycle of Disappointment

Add yours

  1. I’m sorry you’ve had to cancel plans due to health issues, Jennifer. 😦 And those death anniversaries can be so tough, no matter how many years it’s been. I like your exercise of getting to the core issue, regardless of the emotion that starts it off.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Grief runs so deep, Jennifer, and anniversaries can be challenging. Sending you a {Big hug}. May the Lord comfort you as you are missing Benjamin’s presence here on earth. Thank you for this exercise to get from the surface to the core issues as it is very helpful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ahhh, Jennifer, I’m sorry. It’s hard to have to cancel plans. You touch on some good points. That residual grief can definitely play a role in the sense of disappointment or sadness. I’ve seen it in my life and in those I love. Your exercise to help us understand what the base layer is of disappointment is helpful. And, often, it does seem like it relates to losses in our lives—of people and of hoped-for things.

    Liked by 1 person

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