Hi, I thought we would reflect upon this important topic today as it has some interesting facts for us to contemplate.
Especially for those of us who have experienced life changing traumatic events.
First, let’s get our cuppa organized…today I thought a Japanese Apple blossom tea sounded exciting & as an accompaniment a yummy Coconut Ice bite.
The apple tea is lovely & the treat is scrumptious! Shall we begin our reflection together…
What does trauma mean?
Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience…or injury to the body.
However, I believe these are not necessarily mutually exclusive & the science confirms this!
A traumatic event can come to anyone of us, at any time, quite often hitting us from left field when we least expect it.
It comes with the harsh reality that life, as we knew it, will be forever changed.
Trauma may hit us initially through an emotional, physical or mental health situation.
But in whatever form it comes to us, it’s guaranteed to impact every aspect of our lives.
When the trauma is so severe or several traumatic events happen in succession of each other, not giving the mind & body time to process & recover then the condition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) may develop.
This can be a crippling mental health condition & needs professional support.
Why does life change through trauma?
Trauma affects the whole body, as mentioned above, in a way that is not widely acknowledged.
It has been found that the impact of trauma extends to the very micro level of our beings even placing little memory keys upon our DNA, through changing our epigenome.
These trauma memory keys lock or unlock little chemical markers on certain genes! Ref
However, were you aware that our subconscious mind retains memory markers too, even down to remembering the time of the year the trauma occurred?
Let me personalize this…
Recently, I have been feeling not quite myself... At first I put this down to this year’s events with the unexpected emergency… with my husband Steve & a medical emergency we recently had with my eldest daughter.
But as you may know, I find reflective journaling & prayer very useful when I feel a shift in my emotional wellbeing.
So…as I reflected upon how I had traveled emotionally within these events, I saw that while these events were traumatic & unsettling within themselves & collectively, they were not explaining the intensity of the shift in my emotions that I was experiencing.
I then had a lightbulb moment…
Realizing it’s that time of the year again!
My attention has been so focused upon the things of the present, which is normal & healthy, that I had not realized that time was approaching but my subconscious mind had & my spirit had reacted.
The reason…
This is the time of the year when my late husband Ed was diagnosed with brain cancer, called Glioblastoma Multiforme grade 4.
The symptoms & events leading to diagnosis, the emergency Medivac flight to Sydney, his urgent neurosurgery & resulting terminal prognosis was so traumatic for me that it has left an indelible mark upon my subconscious.
Which my spirit & body react to involuntarily at this time each year.
Though I have moved forward in the acceptance of his passing & continue healing in God’s love & grace…shared in Mending brokenness.
There is still the memory marker & this is a subconscious reaction.
You see we only had twelve weeks from his diagnosis to his death & while those twelve weeks were very, very precious they were also very traumatic.
Walking with your husband to heaven’s door through the progression of an aggressive brain tumor is excruciating.
One I could not have done nor survived without God’s strength, especially after having previously walked to heaven’s door with my daughter Candy & then my son Benjamin.
I do have beautiful memories of my marriage to my late husband & these are the ones I choose to focus upon when this wave of grief hits.
The happy memories of our life together which always brings a smile to my face.
Remembering those special times we had & the love of a sweet gentle man with amazing integrity.
Who treated me with such gentleness, respect & honor the entire time we were together, my cup overflowed!
Indeed such love & blessing will last a lifetime!
A word of Advice
I’m here to tell you dear friend that it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to have a few tears in remembrance of the good & painful times.
Whether your trauma memory is from the death of a loved one or from another traumatic event…
It’s okay to grieve!
This is a time in which we need to be very gentle & kind to ourselves allowing the wave of grief, whether in tears or in quiet meditative reflection, to flow over us.
For in time it will slowly ebb away. Releasing us to continue in our present season.
Until next time…
Jennifer
You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook
Or in Prayer
© 2019 Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photo by Pixabay & Saya Kimura on Pexels.com
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Love this post! Im starting to write about my own grief and this is insightful. Your blog is beautiful too!
Thank you for your kind words Colleen! It is very therapeutic & healing to write & share our experience in grief with others…
So glad you dropped by today 😀
Truer words were never typed. People allow others to determine how and how long they grieve but it’s quite individual. Thanks for the great post.
It is Betty, while there are common threads to the process of grief, how they are woven in each individual’s Tapestry of grief is totally unique.
Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts, Jennifer. I’ve been trying to understand the effects of trauma for a few years now and your perspective really helped. Your story really touched me.
I’m glad that my experience has brought a deeper understanding for you, I think sharing helps to shine light on the way these things affect us in the long term & this in turn helps others in their understanding. Lovely having you drop by. 😀
Thank you for sharing your own vulnerability Jennifer. Life sure takes us to some challenging places.
This is a very timely post for me. Over Easter, we had some terrible wildfires which devastated 120 square miles around this village and three others. It has triggered a lot in me, since my own health deteriorated after a wildfire in Easter 2003. Back then, it came right up to the edge of the garden on three sides!
This time, there have been serious issues raised around response time by emergency services…
So I am doing as much as I can to raise awareness, whilst also seeking support from my doctor and others.
Oh Brigid, that is too close for comfort! Fire is so devastating too! You have sought support which is being wise & kind to yourself, I hope you find solace in your beautiful garden too…
Bringing awareness to a situation is the first step for education & ultimate change 😀
Bless you.
Thank you for your thoughts on trauma. You shared so openly about your own story and I appreciate the depth of your experience. I have also experienced trauma over the death of my mom and dad, but also a job I lost at one point in my career. I have also found journaling to be important in the healing process.
Grief comes to us from many traumatic circumstances…don’t they Mary…as you have shared.
It’s difficult to lose our loved ones & to also have a sudden life changing experience in the loss of a job & income.
Journaling is a great tool for helping us to get our thoughts & feelings down & in the process helps us to see the deeper emotions that may be hidden. 🙂
Dear Jennifer … this is so powerful and so hopeful, your story, your learnings, your grace towards yourself and your grief. Many will be touched by your willingness to share this difficult season.
Bless you …
Thank you Linda for your kind words of encouragement 😀
Jennifer, memory imprints are so very real. We experience them at certain times of the year. I fail to know why I’m in a funk and then, suddenly, I remember.. Love to you.
Thank you, it’s a time to do all those things that we find comforting, as we reflect & sit with Jesus…Isn’t it 🙂 bless you…
Whether we like it of not, our bodies do remember those traumatic dates. We can try and power through and ignore all the signs, but our body still remembers. So better to slow down and grieve, and take care of ourself. So glad you are doing this. Special blessings on you during this time.
Thank you Theresa, yes soldiering on will only lead to physical break down. Being kind & gentle to ourselves in slowing down & having time out to process our grief, though painful is healthier for our whole being in the long run 😀
Thank you so much for reminding us that we need time and space to grieve–and grief isn’t a linear process that takes place in a set amount of time! I had to grieve the changes in our lives after my husband miraculously recovered from his traumatic bout with cancer (and one of those changes is that the cancer will most likely return–just in a different form). I haven’t given much thought to the fact that I may feel physically distraught near the time of his diagnosis or relapse, but on reflection, I do! I hate late July and early August.
It’s interesting isn’t it Anita how our subconscious mind operates to the cellular level.
It must be difficult to live with that prospect with your husband…
I have always found Jeremiah 29:11-13 comforting. ♥
Jennifer, reading your post was so timely. This time each year marks a traumatic loss 7 years ago. The grieving process is different for everyone, and I love that you encourage space to just allow the process and invite God into the journey. The good memories definitely are a sweet gift. Thank you for your such encouragement to find these gifts through the triggers and emotions. We comfort with the comfort we have received!
Yes, that’s so true Crystal, we do comfort with the comfort we have received…praise Him!
Be kind to yourself in this time, dear friend, I’m glad you too have sweet memories to focus upon while you reflect at this time.
They give an important balance to processing our grief & loss.