Welcome my friend, come on in & we’ll enjoy a cuppa together while reflecting upon those unexpected interruptions to the rhythms of life due to the impact of someone else’s poor behaviour.

While recently reading & listening to some amazing writers & one particular website, a interdenominational global ministry that has several people taking turns in reading/giving the message, a theme kept cropping up; pride verses humility.

So I thought it was time we reflected upon this today, but before we continue let’s grab our cuppa’s, a treat & get comfy. I’m enjoying an ol’ favourite a mug of Earl Grey Tea blend with a delicious gf treat, a gf Lamington Ball my hubby bought for me.

As it’s quite cold & raining here we’ll find a warm spot in my dining room. Now we’re comfy, let’s continue…

How does a Prideful attitude become established in adulthood?

Well there are many reasons;

• over confidence in one’s own abilities
• or one’s ‘knowledge’
• maybe growing up in an atmosphere of either not being acknowledged for hard earned accomplishments
• or alternatively being consistently overly praised for one’s accomplishments &/or ‘knowledge’

Interestingly both scenarios can lead to an adult being prideful in their over inflated sense of self righteousness & they’ll find it very difficult to let go of this pride, even when it’s obvious that they’re ‘wrong’!

But before we go any further I think the definition of Pride is needed here;

‘Exalting one self above others in overestimating one’s abilities or knowledge’

And while we’re examining meanings, let’s look at the definition of Humility;

‘Recognizing one’s own strength and weaknesses without over or underestimating them.’

Self Esteem often plays a major role here…

Self esteem has been bantered around a lot over the past few decades. But what is it exactly & what role does it play in forming adult behaviour?

Self esteem, put very simply is how you feel about yourself, it is often intertwined with confidence, worth & respect for oneself.

As we reach adulthood our self esteem may have been impacted by either positive  or negative childhood experiences & perceptions.

However, I need to stress here, as an adult we always have the choice in how those experiences/perceptions will continue to either positively or negatively impact us! 

Did you know there can be a misplaced sense of pride in hanging onto negative childhood perceptions/experiences? Which in turn are all too often used as emotional weaponry.

Please note; I’m not talking about childhood abuse here, which needs long term professional help to process in adulthood.

No, I’m talking about the distorted perceptions of an experience/s in childhood that can be constantly used as emotional weaponry or as an excuse for bad behaviour towards family members (who may have not had anything to do with the experience) &/or others within the community.

Here in Australia it’s known, especially in counselling circles as, ‘The Blame Game’, where there are those who constantly blame others for their own bad behaviour &/or poor choices. Never taking responsibility or accountability for their bad attitudes, unwise choices, poor actions & often abusive behaviour towards others.

Unfortunately, throughout my professional career I have seen this play out all too often in relationships, families & within the community.

While there are many responsible adults doing the hard yards in life & doing the very best they possibly can within the circumstances they’re living. There are those who are not & unfortunately these adults have an impact on everyone in their family, to varying degrees, & their community.

The key word here is Self

You see when there is a constant focus on the Self, a misplaced attitude of entitlement occurs. In other words the constant focus on Self heralds in a extreme Self centredness & Selfishness like nothing else can. This Pride & focus on Self I call Narcissistic behaviour as shared in;

What is Narcissistic behaviour?

 

Self centredness is all about Self, no one else comes into focus. Because an entitled attitude brings the belief that the “World owes one” & therefore a justification takes place for acting out in poor attitude & behaviour towards others.

Their thinking is; after all if the other person isn’t meeting my needs or demands then they just have to put up with the consequences!

The saddest part of this is the wake of emotional destruction & broken relationships that is left behind in families &/or the wider community depending on who’s being targeted & on the receiving end of such Narcissistic behaviour.

The Solution

There’s a reason why God’s Word advises us to;

“Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23 BSB

You see when bitterness is allowed to cloud perceptions of the past or present the refreshing flow of the heart springs cease. And what flows out instead is an emotionally charged toxic sludge that spews out onto others & apart from being extremely offensive it stinks, especially to those of whom it is aimed.

Sadly, the end result is that others will start to withdraw for their own emotional & spiritual safety, & rightly so! Because the scripture above is two fold, we’re also being advised to guard our hearts against emotional & spiritual toxins spewed at us!

Recommended action…

Professionally there’s a process to go through for the one whose heart flow has stopped flowing life & has become toxic. And if you see yourself here as the One who has allowed their precious heart flow to be consumed with toxic bitter sludge then please go & seek professional counselling, as soon as possible, which may need to be long term. You’re hurting yourself as well as those who genuinely care about you.

And you may want to ask yourself the following question; how is my relationship with Jesus going? For Jesus said in John 7: 38 ;

“Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said: ‘Streams of living water will flow from within him.’”

If you don’t know Him yet then please join me HERE.

If you’ve been on the receiving end of such toxic sludge my friend then please guard your heart. I personally & professionally don’t tolerate such abusive behaviour or outbursts. And address such behaviour in a loving but wise manner, placing very clear boundaries in what is acceptable behaviour & what is not.

And may we guard our hearts from becoming bitter & from other’s bitterness by walking with Jesus daily through the power of the Holy Spirit my friend!

Until next time,

Jennifer

You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

or in Prayer

© 2026 Jennifer M. Ross, All Rights Reserved. Photo by Michaela St at pexels.com

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