You may have noticed lately that I’ve been asking some thought provoking questions. Why? Because that’s how we grow, by asking ourselves the hard questions in life & addressing the issue.

This week’s question came to mind while reading over some old notes from a message I had prepared for a Women’s Conference back in 2007.

But before we get to our reflection today, let’s grab our cuppa’s & get comfy.

It’s actually cold & raining here as I write so we’ll be sitting in the warmth of my study. I have a cup of Earl Grey with a slice of gf Carrot Cake with the most delicious lemon cream cheese icing, what’s yours?

Hidden Treasures of Darkness

For many years the following scripture really puzzled me;

“… I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness— secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD…” Isaiah 45:3  

You see I had always equated darkness with evil. So when God kept highlighting this verse I couldn’t understand it. I just didn’t get it!

Until the year 2002 when my husband died of Brain Cancer twelve weeks after diagnosis, I started understanding. It was the treasure of Himself in the darkest times of our lives ~ & one of those treasures was His all encompassing comfort.

You see God promises to carry us through those times & for a season He did just that. He carried me through the shock diagnosis, rapid decline & death of my husband & the ensuing grief.

I was given strength & peace in abundance beyond any human understanding.

But as with all children there comes a time for them to walk beside us hand in hand & not be carried. And that’s exactly what I experienced, although this was difficult because I still wanted that special comfort of being carried…

Because I was feeling increasingly weary & tired, I thought this was from the grief.

However, I didn’t realise at the time that the tiredness & weariness I was experiencing was another darkened time creeping into my life.

Then the Holy Spirit enlightened the following verse;

 “…Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come along with me.”

Song of Songs 2: 10

I wondered why I had been given that verse but then the realisation came that my own health was declining.

The best analogy I can describe is that suddenly it was as though I had been lead into a darkened cave. It just seemed like another hard blow hitting from left field after losing my husband.

I struggled with this for awhile, then God asked me the following question in my devotional time again (as mentioned in my last post Here);

“Are you comfortable Being?”

And although I had previously answered wholeheartedly,  “of course Lord!“. I realised that at that moment I actually couldn’t answer with that same conviction, as in fact I wasn’t comfortable Being in chronic illness with Him at all. And I wondered why, as He had always been with me through all the circumstances I had faced.

Once I admitted this to the Lord, the darkened cave suddenly lit with little spotlights lighting up different recesses here & there revealing boxes of treasure, just like an Indiana Jones movie!

And as I travelled further into the cave of chronic illness, hand in hand with my Lord He revealed amazing hidden wealth in the secret places of my soul that He Himself had put there.

The wealth of His love, grace & peace in so many circumstances in my life including the deaths of my daughter & son, as well as my late husband.

Although, one box we came to didn’t quite look like the others as it was kind of ordinary. As the Lord pointed it out the spotlight grew brighter upon it & I saw that tiny flames were burning within but were well contained.

I thought this may have represented a burning passion for God & His Kingdom in my soul?

But no, when Jesus revealed that the flames were actually my anger towards Him in allowing the decline of my health, I was shocked.

That explained why I wasn’t really comfortable ‘Being’ with Him at that time as I was holding onto disappointment that had smouldered into little flames of anger towards my Heavenly Father in a secret recess of my soul!

I hadn’t realised this was happening, so humbling myself before the Lord there & then I asked for His forgiveness, handing that disappointment & anger over to Him.

And you know what?

That anger was instantly replaced with the richness of His Joy & strength.

“…for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10 NIV

You see through that experience God revealed a treasure hidden in darkness – secret riches that were waiting for me there but I had to let go of that anger first & foremost.

Circumstances that bring darker times into our lives are the opportunities to withdraw & sit uninterrupted in His presence. So He can reveal to us what lays hidden in the recesses of our soul & the riches He has for us if we but surrender our circumstances & feelings to Him.

Thing’s like hanging onto rejection, hurt, disappointment, anger or resentment that may be festering ever so quietly in a hidden recess of our soul.

Always Present

God promises us the following;

… “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU [under any circumstances

nor give you up nor leave you without support,

nor will I in any degree leave you helpless],

NOR WILL I FORSAKE or LET YOU DOWN or

 RELAX MY HOLD ON YOU [assuredly not]!”

Hebrews 5: 13 AMP

May we allow His presence to be fully evident in our lives my friend by humbling ourselves before Him in the circumstances we are facing today.

Until next time,

Jennifer

You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

Or in Prayer

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