Do you find life can get awfully disappointing at times? Welcome my friend to a time of sitting together with a cuppa ~ why don’t you grab one… As we reflect upon peeling back the layers of disappointment to get to the core issue.
It’s raining, cold & windy here today with glimpses of cheeky little rays of sunshine peaking through the rain clouds momentarily teasing us, then quickly disappearing.
We have retreated indoors where it’s dry, warm & cozy. I have prepared a little tray (that my late husband upcycled from an old Spice rack) with a cup of Assam black tea & a couple of homemade gf double choc brownies…
I’m a little disappointed today, well actually not just a little but a lot! Before I share why I’m feeling this way let’s look at what disappointment actually is…
The definition of disappointment; the feeling of sadness or displeasure in unmet hopes &/or expectations.
Which means if we are feeling disappointed, then we held a hope or an expectation of a particular outcome for a certain person, situation or issue that would be fulfilled in the manner in which we had hoped.
I have shared about expectations previously in Iced Wine tea & expectations… which you’re most welcome to read. But today I will be focusing upon what we can do once disappointment has arrived.
The top layer of my disappointment this week is…after going so well in building up my physical activity, as shared last week, this week has been a total wipe out!
Not because of the rain, nor because of the cold but because of the demanding tenant called Fibromyalgia, which has amped up its demands, severely impacting my energy & pain levels, restricting my physical capabilities once again.
Although the demands of this tenant are not new to me, after all I have been dealing with them for the past 13 years & I know that this flare will pass in time…so why am I feeling so disappointed?
I realized what had happened, ever so secretly that is, my hopes & expectations had been building little by little with my physical activity! In fact it was so secretly hidden within my subconscious that I was completely unaware, until it hit me that they weren’t being fulfilled!
Have you ever had that experience my friend? When your hopes, dreams or expectations for a loved one or a situation are dashed & disappointment hits hard!
Realizing that you, subconsciously, had very high hopes for that loved one & greater expectations for the situation. But now they lay disappointingly & painfully unfulfilled.
This is the time we need to stop, reflect & reassess! Not continuing to languish in the muddy hole of disappointment. Sure we need to recognize & validate our feelings of disappointment over the situation that may have edged into sadness.
But then let’s get on with reassessing where we stand! Let’s start peeling the layers back to get to the true core of our disappointment…for there is always a deeper issue at hand fueling the surface layer.
Let’s make it personal…
Layer 1
Disappointment = being unable to meet the amount of physical activity I had been slowly building.
It’s about loss…
Layer 2
Disappointment = the deeper unfulfilled hope of being capable again as I was before chronic illness.
There is a deeper hope to live the active life I once lived before chronic health conditions…Being fit & healthy, being reliable, being able to spend more time with family & friends, back working (as I had always expected to work till I entered the gates of eternity), no chronic pain, no chronic fatigue & no fibro fog!
Yet, during this time of chronic illness I have been so blessed with such a richness & deeper understanding in my spiritual life in relationship with Christ then ever before.
Layer 3 the core
Disappointment = Loss & grief…Ahhh…It’s the anniversary of my late husband’s passing from brain cancer tomorrow. Yes, there’s a much deeper issue at play, it’s Life after Trauma!
It’s about grief…
I need to be kind to myself at this time…for God promised…
“…I will turn their grief into joy. And will comfort them, & give them joy for their sorrow.”
Jeremiah 31:13
Disappointment comes to us all, it’s how we process it that counts…Are you disappointed with something in your life today dear friend? What is the deeper issue at play?
Until next time,
Jennifer
You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook
Or in Prayer
© 2019, Jennifer M. Ross teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photo on Pexels.com
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You’ve had many layers of loss here, Jennifer. I’m so sorry. 😦 Disappointment hits us all at various points, but sometimes it does seem to pile up in clumps. Praying for those times to pass quickly.
That they do Lisa! But we have a great heavenly Father who walks through those times with us. Lovely having you drop by today! 😀
Missing a loved one is indeed disappointing. We can’t help being disappointed in life, but like you said, it is how we choose to respond to the disappointment. Figuring out and naming why is so helpful, and a step I sometimes forget. But glossing over the disappointment or ignoring it does not help me get over it. But naming and processing it, that does. Praying for a better week for you.
Thank you Theresa! Yes, we definitely need to process our emotions for healthy minds & bodies. Lovely having you drop by today 😀
Oh, I can relate! I have had Fibromyalgia from childhood although it was only diagnosed about 10 years ago. I worked until 2 years ago. Energy has become more valuable than time or money. And the good days usually follow with some disappointment, because without realizing it, I guess I always hope that I am getting better. So sorry for the loss of your husband. Sending prayers! Many Thanks 8)
You’re right Debra wealth such as energy & less pain gives such richness to those of us living with Fibromyalgia. Lovely to have you drop by. 😀
I am so sorry for your loss, and for your fibro flare-up. I too have fibro and its pain is truly relentless. I will be lifting you up in my prayers.
Stopping by again to say thanks for linking up with us at the GATHERING OF FRIENDS LINK PARTY 4. Sharing.
A pleasure Sylvia 😀
Thank you for your prayers, they are appreciated. Sylvia, I’m saddened to hear you too have chronic pain & Fibromyalgia. Sending gentle hugs to you 🙂
❤ Sending caring thoughts your way. Thanks you for sharing this thought provoking post.
Thank you for your kindness, it’s greatly appreciated. I’m glad that you found it thought provoking 😀
Hi Jennifer, I soooo feel your pain. I too have fibromyalgia that has affected my whole body, especially my feet. I forget that brain fog is also a component of this disease. Sharing about the impact of disapointment is a big help. Thank you.
God has shown me the power of mental strongholds in my life, which are often built by dissapointments. I wrote a book describing how God has been freeing me of many strongholds. Growing up in an abusive home and then marrying an abusive first husband was the stress that led to fibromyalgia. I suspected that children who are abused have a higher percentage of develping fibromyalgia. This was verified by a doctor who studied fibroyalgia for her degree and discovered that all the fibromyalgia cases had a history of abuse. So, as God has been healing me, I have improved. Though, you are right, when I face stress of any kind, which in reality is dissapointment from unmet expectations, I get a flare-up.
The current flare-up was from my stressing over not being a Queen with many servants to do her work. I complained about this for hours as I did my chores in pain. This of course, increased my emotional stress, but alas, I found peace in being thankful instead. My true dissapointment was that my husband would not be more helpful to me. Though he was helpful as much as he could. Finding something to be thankful for in the midst of our dissapointment helps releive the stress that causes fibromyalgia flare-ups and restores peace in our souls.
Sorry my response is so long.
Joyce
Joyce, I’m saddened to hear you too live with Fibromyalgia & that you have suffered a history of abuse.
Though I am encouraged to hear that you’re working through the past hurt & pain with the Lord & are willing to do so. Bless you!
Be kind to yourself my new friend ♥
Oh, Jennifer, I am so sorry for your physical pain and understandable heartache… saying a prayer for you now, friend, and hoping you will find comfort in the One who sees and knows and loves you always.
Disappointment is such a difficult thing to navigate, isn’t it? I have found that, at the root, disappointment is all about ‘self’, that piece of us that wants stuff for itself and not others. That inward looking ‘self’ gets ours eyes off Jesus and then before we know it we are going down.
The only antidote I know of is when disappointment hits, to look to Jesus and help others. When I give of myself I have nothing to give to ‘self’ and that’s a good thing. By doing this we follow in His footsteps and will find joy and peace returning.
But at the very root, you nailed it, “Yet, during this time of chronic illness I have been so blessed with such a richness & deeper understanding to my spiritual life & relationship in Christ then ever before.” That is what it is all about. Not that we suffer, but through the suffering we come closer to Jesus and gain in empathy for others. Therein lies beauty.
Thank you for this post.
Blessings,
Homer Les,
http://www.uncompromisingfaith.ca
Yes Homer Les it’s about our relationship with Him & the journey to a deeper understanding & experience within that relationship. 😀
Just the encouraging words I needed to day, dear Jennifer… Sending healing thoughts and love to you!
I’m so glad Bette, thank you sweet friend ♥
I’ve been struggling with health issues related to toxic metals and mold for several years. Summer is usually my worse times. I empathize with you in your disappointment of starting to get better and then going backwards. I can only imagine how difficult that is to add traumatic loss to your health issues. May our gentle Savior carry and encourage you.
I’m saddened to hear you have chronic health issues too Deb. His strength is our joy! 😀