As I opened the package labelled ‘Iced Wine tea’ the most beautiful aroma filled the air. I was curious & excited.
I hadn’t known there was such a tea available, the instructions indicated it could be enjoyed hot or iced once brewed.
The aroma & name of this tea had my expectations rather high for a delightful tea adventure.
Welcome to our time of reflection…
It is a hot summer’s day, I have brewed the tea & placed enticing cupcakes on a pedestal cake stand.
My husband, has his usual Australian black tea & we are sitting surrounded by the beauty of our garden.
The preparations are now complete for this anticipated exciting taste adventure…
I pour the cooled amber liquid into my icy glass & lift it to my lips, closing my eyes to linger in the moment of that very first sip of a new taste…
But my expectations were sadly not met, this tea’s flavour has both an initial & lingering chemical taste that was rather pungent & unpleasant.
This had me pondering upon our reflection today….
Of my own high expectations of this little tea adventure & the desired outcome I had been hoping to experience…
Expectations, are interesting aren’t they?
We often have expectations of loved ones, relationships, society, ourselves & experiences (like my tea adventure).
The problem with expectations though are that they are constructed from our own perceptions of cultural, familial & personal experience.
They involve a mixture of imaginings, core beliefs, hopes, standards of past experiences & behavior, either positive or negative that have impacted us.
We combine these, to have an anticipated imagined outcome.
This can put undue pressure both on the focus of our expectation & upon ourselves. Giving an unrealistic level of expectancy which may result in disappointment.
This then may lead to constructing unfair judgements against whatever or whoever has not meet our expectations.
To be fair, there may be circumstances surrounding the practicality of our unmet expectations…
In the case of the tea, it may simply be a bad batch or past its prime.
If it’s an unmet expectation of a loved one in our life…
They may not be able to meet our expectations because of their own circumstances in life, that we are not privileged to or it is simply beyond their capacity in this season of their life.
It is absolutely healthy to look forward to the goals, events, experiences, time with loved ones & our personal bests in life, even stretching beyond our comfort zones for new personal growth.
But it is very unhealthy to have expectations of others & ourselves that can never be met!
Because they are unrealistic & have been constructed in our own imaginings.
So, may we be kinder in our expectations of others & ourselves.
May we include actual practicality, understanding, love & respect for another if they can not meet our expectations.
May we also include our own realistic personal capacities in what we expect of ourselves & be fluid in the changing seasons of our life.
Living our personal best & enjoying the moments within that season.
Lastly, may we see the beautiful moments in a tea adventure that wasn’t quite the taste experience that was expected.
But none the less was a delightful time with a loving & caring man in the garden he cultivates.
With birds chirping & chortling, delicious cup cakes & companionable times of chatting…
Until next time,
Jennifer
You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook
Or
In Prayer
© 2018 Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photo on Pexels.com
Tea With Jennifer on life, love & laughter... 
Oh, I was so hoping that tea was going to be fabulous. Rats! – You are spot on about expectations. I learned long ago not to place expectations on family. I do place them on friends occasionally but the highest of high expectations has always been on myself. Those expectations are the most challenging and the most difficult to let go of. I’m most definitely more forgiving of others than of myself but I’m working on that. 🙂 – Wonderful post and I am so enjoying your blog.
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Glad to hear you arè working on being kinder to yourself, I find the older I get, the wiser I am in my expectations of myself & others…
You are correct most of us are harder on ourselves than others…& that can be self sabotaging…but that is another topic for another tea reflection…
Lovely you dropped by & enjoyed our time together.
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I have had Iced wine tea and although not my favourite, it was quite good. I try to not expect too much in life and am often pleasantly surprised! A lovely post, thanks!
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Good to hear Darlene, yes it may have been the batch as I mentioned or my taste buds! Lol!
Isn’t it lovely to have pleasant surprises along our travels in life!
Thankyou, glad you enjoyed our time together.
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Sounds like a very odd tea. Glad you tasted it so I don’t have to. Surprises are more fun than expectations, I find. I remember someone suggesting I lower my expectations and I would be disappointed less often!
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I find being kinder to ourselves in our anticipated outcomes gives us room for lovely & pleasant surprises.
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Absolutely.
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Great post. Yes, so often my expectations have gotten me into trouble. I expect to much, to little, something different. Of other people and myself. I am trying to set realistic expectations and realize when my expectations have lead me astray.
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Thank you Theresa, so glad you dropped by, yes it’s a learning curve for us all…. depending on the season of our lives…& how much we desire the focus of our expectation.
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Visiting you from Grace and Truth link up. You are so right. Expectations can put a lot of stress on us and our relationships. Yet it is so hard to live without them. This is definitely something to work toward. It seems like releasing our expectations is the way of contentment. So glad your wine tea gave you the inspiration for this post. Thank you. Sweet blessings to you!
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Lovely to have you drop by Cheryl . Dawn does a great job in bringing us all together on Friday’s Grace & Truth link up at http://www.dawnlinge.com
I don’t think we need to live without expectations, as they are an important part of being human, they are linked to our hopes, but that will be a topic for another tea reflection.
Rather as we construct them in our minds, we need to apply “kindness clauses” which allow others to have the freedom to live their own lives & not live to our imaged expectations of them. Which in turn also applies the kindness clause to our self.
Thank you for your sweet blessings & sending them to you.
Jennifer
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Reflecting on being kinder… those reflections are sure to raise our expectations and experiences! Thanks for the inspiration, Jennifer. ❤ Have a lovely weekend! xo
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Lovely comment Bette, ♥ thank you.
You have a great weekend also!
Jennifer
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I was hoping the tea would be delightful! But no such luck. Beautiful post. Blessed to be your neighbor at the Ra Ra linkup this week.
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Thank you for your kind compliment Tara, so glad you dropped by, isn’t it lovely we can share a lovely time over a cuppa as neighbors!
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Haha! I too was looking forward to your description of what this tea tasted like! So disappointed in the tea this week, but not your thoughts! Thank you for the reminder I needed to give grace to those who don’t meet expectations, to check my expectations, and to still be able to enjoy life when those expectations aren’t met!
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Yes, the tea was disappointing but I hope to try another batch some other time to see if there is any improvement.
Yes, let us live life abundantly! And have kindness at the fore front to all expectations.
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What a shame about the tea… I love the message and the photographs. It is timeless.
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It’s always disappointing to expect one thing and get another. But I’m learning that grace makes a big difference. I look forward to the experience, and try not to worry about how I think things should be.
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Lovely to have you drop by Anita, yes grace makes a huge difference in our expectations both of others & for ourselves.
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Linking food/drink to unmet expectations is helpful, thank you! This is a lovely illustration. Thanks for all the wise points, so glad to be reminded about the effect of expectations today!
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Lovely to have you drop by, glad you enjoyed our time together!
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I was ready to go buy that tea until you told us how it tasted. Great post!
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Thank you, another blogger said her Iced Wine tea was great so it may have been the batch or my taste buds!
Glad you dropped by!
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This is totally delightful, Jennifer, and an outstanding metaphor on the thorny issue of expectations that can plague us all at different seasons with different people and things. The challenge is to not have them been idealistic to the nth degree or so negative that we find ourselves in despair or a self-fulfilling prophecy. Great to visit you!
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Thank you, yes we need to be very mindful of our imagings & those in the practicality of real life…don’t we.
I like your point of a self fulfilling prophecy too! Very true! Self sabotaging…as well!
So lovely you dropped by!
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Jennifer, I’m so glad that you re-posted this at the #Teaandword linkup today where we are neighbors! It was just what I needed to hear, especially this: “be fluid in the changing seasons of our lives.” Even when I think that I am offering my expectations to the Lord, I realize that I have been holding back when the disappointment settles in over things that I had hoped to be able to join in with. Oh may I allow the Lord to set those seasons for me, and trust Him with all my own expectations too. He does have good gifts for us, just as He gave you that precious time with your husband. Blessings to you!
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Definitely Bettie, I’m blessed that God used this today to bless you! ♥
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Oh, I was so hoping that was going to be delicious with such a grandiose name as Iced Wine Tea! But I’m glad you were able to learn from the experience and remind us all about the dangers and disappointments of unmet and unrealistic expectations… plus, I love absolutely your photos! Thanks for sharing, Jennifer. Stopping by from #RaRaLinkup
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Yes, I agree Laura but there can be silver linings in every situation. Lovely having you drop on fro RaRa!
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Fantastic use of metaphor to encourage reflection Jennifer! Taking time to stop and examine our expectations is so important. I’ve learned a lot, as you know from my previous few posts about setting unrealistic self-expectations! Thanks for this reminder, definitely an area that I need to continue to reflect on.
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Thank you Marie, glad you enjoyed the analogy 😀
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