Chronic Fatigue Syndrome · Fibromyalgia · Psychology · Spirituality

Layers of disappointment

Do you find life can get awfully disappointing at times? Welcome my friend to a time of sitting together with a cuppa ~ why don’t you grab one… As we reflect upon peeling back the layers of disappointment to get to the core issue.

It’s raining, cold & windy here today with glimpses of cheeky little rays of sunshine peaking through the rain clouds momentarily teasing us, then quickly disappearing.

We have retreated indoors where it’s dry, warm & cozy. I have prepared a little tray (that my late husband upcycled from an old Spice rack) with a cup of Assam black tea & a couple of homemade gf double choc brownies…

I’m a little disappointed today, well actually not just a little but a lot! Before I share why I’m feeling this way let’s look at what disappointment actually is…

The definition of disappointment; the feeling of sadness or displeasure in unmet hopes &/or expectations. 

Which means if we are feeling disappointed, then we held a hope or an expectation of a particular outcome for a certain person, situation or issue that would be fulfilled in the manner in which we had hoped.

I have shared about expectations previously in Iced Wine tea & expectations… which you’re most welcome to read. But today I will be focusing upon what we can do once disappointment has arrived.

shallow focus photography of a cavalier king charles spaniel

The top layer of my disappointment this week is…after going so well in building up my physical activity, as shared last week, this week has been a total wipe out!

Not because of the rain, nor because of the cold but because of the demanding tenant called Fibromyalgia, which has amped up its demands, severely impacting my energy & pain levels, restricting my physical capabilities once again.

Although the demands of this tenant are not new to me, after all I have been dealing with them for the past 13 years & I know that this flare will pass in time…so why am I feeling so disappointed?

I realized what had happened, ever so secretly that is, my hopes & expectations had been building little by little with my physical activity! In fact it was so secretly hidden within my subconscious that I was completely unaware, until it hit me that they weren’t being fulfilled!

Have you ever had that experience my friend? When your hopes, dreams or expectations for a loved one or a situation are dashed & disappointment hits hard!

Realizing that you, subconsciously, had very high hopes for that loved one & greater expectations for the situation. But now they lay disappointingly & painfully unfulfilled.

This is the time we need to stop, reflect & reassess! Not continuing to languish in the muddy hole of disappointment. Sure we need to recognize & validate our feelings of disappointment over the situation that may have edged into sadness.

But then let’s get on with reassessing where we stand! Let’s start peeling the layers back to get to the true core of our disappointment…for there is always a deeper issue at hand fueling the surface layer.

Let’s make it personal…

Layer 1

Disappointment = being unable to meet the amount of physical activity I had been slowly building.

It’s about loss…

Layer 2

Disappointment = the deeper unfulfilled hope of being capable again as I was before chronic illness.

There is a deeper hope to live the active life I once lived before chronic health conditions…Being fit & healthy, being reliable, being able to spend more time with family & friends, back working (as I had always expected to work till I entered the gates of eternity), no chronic pain, no chronic fatigue & no fibro fog!

Yet, during this time of chronic illness I have been so blessed with such a richness & deeper understanding in my spiritual life in relationship with Christ then ever before.

Layer 3 the core

Disappointment = Loss & grief…Ahhh…It’s the anniversary of my late husband’s passing from brain cancer tomorrow. Yes, there’s a much deeper issue at play, it’s Life after Trauma!

It’s about grief…

I need to be kind to myself at this time…for God promised…

“…I will turn their grief into joy. And will comfort them, & give them joy for their sorrow.” 

Jeremiah 31:13

Disappointment comes to us all, it’s how we process it that counts…Are you disappointed with something in your life today dear friend? What is the deeper issue at play?

Until next time,


You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

Or in Prayer

© 2019, Jennifer M. Ross All Rights Reserved. Photo on

Blog link ups, also featured at Maree’s Grace & Truth Link Up

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68 thoughts on “Layers of disappointment

  1. Jennifer,
    I relate to your disappointment on many levels–including that of fibromyalgia. Loss, unmet expectations, and grief all wrapped into one feeling.

    Praying memories of your husband are a balm to your spirit and that your flare is short.

    Peace and grace,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tammy, thank you for your prayers, they are greatly appreciated!
      I’ve found disappointment something that needs to be processed…don’t you think? Otherwise it can be a constant thorn in our side. May you be richly blessed today sweet friend. ❤️


  2. Jennifer, for me, disappointment is one of the worst feelings, and you’re right … it is totally connected to expectations–some realistic, some not. I appreciate how you walked us down through the layers to find out what was at the root of your disappointment … very helpful. I’m so thankful for the promise that God will turn our sorrow into joy. Hugs, friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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