Do you find life can get awfully disappointing at times? Welcome my friend to a time of sitting together with a cuppa ~ why don’t you grab one… As we reflect upon peeling back the layers of disappointment to get to the core issue.
It’s raining, cold & windy here today with glimpses of cheeky little rays of sunshine peaking through the rain clouds momentarily teasing us, then quickly disappearing.
We have retreated indoors where it’s dry, warm & cozy. I have prepared a little tray (that my late husband upcycled from an old Spice rack) with a cup of Assam black tea & a couple of homemade gf double choc brownies…
I’m a little disappointed today, well actually not just a little but a lot! Before I share why I’m feeling this way let’s look at what disappointment actually is…
The definition of disappointment; the feeling of sadness or displeasure in unmet hopes &/or expectations.
Which means if we are feeling disappointed, then we held a hope or an expectation of a particular outcome for a certain person, situation or issue that would be fulfilled in the manner in which we had hoped.
I have shared about expectations previously in Iced Wine tea & expectations… which you’re most welcome to read. But today I will be focusing upon what we can do once disappointment has arrived.
The top layer of my disappointment this week is…after going so well in building up my physical activity, as shared last week, this week has been a total wipe out!
Not because of the rain, nor because of the cold but because of the demanding tenant called Fibromyalgia, which has amped up its demands, severely impacting my energy & pain levels, restricting my physical capabilities once again.
Although the demands of this tenant are not new to me, after all I have been dealing with them for the past 13 years & I know that this flare will pass in time…so why am I feeling so disappointed?
I realized what had happened, ever so secretly that is, my hopes & expectations had been building little by little with my physical activity! In fact it was so secretly hidden within my subconscious that I was completely unaware, until it hit me that they weren’t being fulfilled!
Have you ever had that experience my friend? When your hopes, dreams or expectations for a loved one or a situation are dashed & disappointment hits hard!
Realizing that you, subconsciously, had very high hopes for that loved one & greater expectations for the situation. But now they lay disappointingly & painfully unfulfilled.
This is the time we need to stop, reflect & reassess! Not continuing to languish in the muddy hole of disappointment. Sure we need to recognize & validate our feelings of disappointment over the situation that may have edged into sadness.
But then let’s get on with reassessing where we stand! Let’s start peeling the layers back to get to the true core of our disappointment…for there is always a deeper issue at hand fueling the surface layer.
Let’s make it personal…
Layer 1
Disappointment = being unable to meet the amount of physical activity I had been slowly building.
It’s about loss…
Layer 2
Disappointment = the deeper unfulfilled hope of being capable again as I was before chronic illness.
There is a deeper hope to live the active life I once lived before chronic health conditions…Being fit & healthy, being reliable, being able to spend more time with family & friends, back working (as I had always expected to work till I entered the gates of eternity), no chronic pain, no chronic fatigue & no fibro fog!
Yet, during this time of chronic illness I have been so blessed with such a richness & deeper understanding in my spiritual life in relationship with Christ then ever before.
Layer 3 the core
Disappointment = Loss & grief…Ahhh…It’s the anniversary of my late husband’s passing from brain cancer tomorrow. Yes, there’s a much deeper issue at play, it’s Life after Trauma!
It’s about grief…
I need to be kind to myself at this time…for God promised…
“…I will turn their grief into joy. And will comfort them, & give them joy for their sorrow.”
Jeremiah 31:13
Disappointment comes to us all, it’s how we process it that counts…Are you disappointed with something in your life today dear friend? What is the deeper issue at play?
Until next time,
Jennifer
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© 2019, Jennifer M. Ross teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photo on Pexels.com
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Hi Jennifer – I am so sorry I guess my comment that I featured you didn’t post. I remember writing it, but quite honestly I have had the flu so I probably never hit post comment. I am glad you saw it.
It’s totally okay, absolutely no worries Maree, I am both honored & delighted to be featured on Grace & Truth Link Up. I hope you get well soon! ♥
This was so pertinent to me, and I deeply appreciate your teaching on disappointment.
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Hi Mary,
I’m so glad that this reflection was helpful to you & Thank you for your kind encouragement 😀
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Jennifer, I know all too well how Fibromyalgia can cause so much pain and disappointment. I am currently recovering from spinal surgery due to a ruptured disc all caused by good ole fibro. I am praying for you on the anniversary of your husband’s death. I think secretly your body knew this day was coming and because it weighed so heavily on you it has thrown you into a flare. Please know that you are not alone. If you find you need a friend to talk to or just someone who knows what you are going through with your chronic disease please contact me.
Angela, thank you for your kind words & concern, yes you are correct in a way that our subconscious does have a memory, you may be interested in my reflection Life after Trauma
I hope your recovery is swift, that’s a big surgical procedure to go through & I’m saddened to hear you too deal with Fibromyalgia, we do know what each other deals with day to day. Praying with you new friend.
You know how God sometimes speaks through repeated messages from various sources? That’s your post. It’s probably the third or fourth thing I’ve read this week about disappointment and unmet expectations. I’m realizing it’s a control issue… It’s a false belief that I know better; I know how things should turn out. Oh, how patient our Father is with me – a slow learner! Thank you for sharing so openly. I appreciate your “peeling back the layers” exercise.
Yes Jana, I do understand. I’m so glad that He has used our reflection time together to open a time of healing for you with Him 😀
Thank you, Jennifer. So astute – that beneath our disappointment lies multiple layers and identifying them helps us to move forward.
You’re welcome Pam, I’m glad it was helpful for you 😀
I hadn’t consciously connected disappointment with unmet expectations, but I see now that that’s exactly what disappointments are. It’s good to examine them, as you did, so we can bring them before the Lord rather than just living with vague feelings.
You had quite a pile-up of them all at once. I don’t have fibro, but I have friends who do. I have other issues that seem to hinder my schedule and energy, so I empathize. I hope this flare-up is brief and you feel as good as possible again soon.
I’m so sorry about the loss of your husband and pray for God’s comfort and grace.
Thank you Barbara, I have some beautiful memories 😀
Praying for you, my friend! I hope you were able to give yourself grace and space to feel the feelings and count the loss but also remember the blessings! You are so right… it is rarely (if ever!) really about the surface stuff… there is almost always a deeper issue!
Thank you Karrileea, I appreciate your prayers :-D.
Goodness, Jennifer, you’re right. It’s hardly ever what we see on the surface. Thank you for unpacking the reasons so that I could be reminded to do the same when I get disappointed too. I pray you will find enjoy some beautiful memories of your husband and the anniversary will be one of joy for you. Please be gentle with yourself as you hope and grieve. Give yourself space and permission to do both as God leads.
Blessings always,
Marva | SunSparkleShine
Thank you Marva for your kind advice 🙂
Thank you for being so open in your sharing. It so encourages me to keep pressing into Jesus. May God be such a balm to you in the midst of such pain, sorrow and loss. And may the love you have showered upon us here return to you in manifold blessings- in glimpses of God’s Presence WITH you, in big and small ways, throughout your day.
Thank you for your kind words & blessing! They’re greatly appreciated 😀
♥ Thanks for what you wrote.
Though I walk through the gloomy vale
Where death and all its terrors are,
My heart and hope shall never fail,
For God my Shepherd’s with me there.
Amidst the darkness and the deeps
Thou art my comfort, thou my stay;
Thy staff supports my feeble steps,
Thy rod directs my doubtful way.
You’re welcome Aritha, what a beautiful poem! Thank you for sharing that 😀