Do you find life can get awfully disappointing at times? Welcome my friend to a time of sitting together with a cuppa ~ why don’t you grab one… As we reflect upon peeling back the layers of disappointment to get to the core issue.
It’s raining, cold & windy here today with glimpses of cheeky little rays of sunshine peaking through the rain clouds momentarily teasing us, then quickly disappearing.
We have retreated indoors where it’s dry, warm & cozy. I have prepared a little tray (that my late husband upcycled from an old Spice rack) with a cup of Assam black tea & a couple of homemade gf double choc brownies…
I’m a little disappointed today, well actually not just a little but a lot! Before I share why I’m feeling this way let’s look at what disappointment actually is…
The definition of disappointment; the feeling of sadness or displeasure in unmet hopes &/or expectations.
Which means if we are feeling disappointed, then we held a hope or an expectation of a particular outcome for a certain person, situation or issue that would be fulfilled in the manner in which we had hoped.
I have shared about expectations previously in Iced Wine tea & expectations… which you’re most welcome to read. But today I will be focusing upon what we can do once disappointment has arrived.
The top layer of my disappointment this week is…after going so well in building up my physical activity, as shared last week, this week has been a total wipe out!
Not because of the rain, nor because of the cold but because of the demanding tenant called Fibromyalgia, which has amped up its demands, severely impacting my energy & pain levels, restricting my physical capabilities once again.
Although the demands of this tenant are not new to me, after all I have been dealing with them for the past 13 years & I know that this flare will pass in time…so why am I feeling so disappointed?
I realized what had happened, ever so secretly that is, my hopes & expectations had been building little by little with my physical activity! In fact it was so secretly hidden within my subconscious that I was completely unaware, until it hit me that they weren’t being fulfilled!
Have you ever had that experience my friend? When your hopes, dreams or expectations for a loved one or a situation are dashed & disappointment hits hard!
Realizing that you, subconsciously, had very high hopes for that loved one & greater expectations for the situation. But now they lay disappointingly & painfully unfulfilled.
This is the time we need to stop, reflect & reassess! Not continuing to languish in the muddy hole of disappointment. Sure we need to recognize & validate our feelings of disappointment over the situation that may have edged into sadness.
But then let’s get on with reassessing where we stand! Let’s start peeling the layers back to get to the true core of our disappointment…for there is always a deeper issue at hand fueling the surface layer.
Let’s make it personal…
Layer 1
Disappointment = being unable to meet the amount of physical activity I had been slowly building.
It’s about loss…
Layer 2
Disappointment = the deeper unfulfilled hope of being capable again as I was before chronic illness.
There is a deeper hope to live the active life I once lived before chronic health conditions…Being fit & healthy, being reliable, being able to spend more time with family & friends, back working (as I had always expected to work till I entered the gates of eternity), no chronic pain, no chronic fatigue & no fibro fog!
Yet, during this time of chronic illness I have been so blessed with such a richness & deeper understanding in my spiritual life in relationship with Christ then ever before.
Layer 3 the core
Disappointment = Loss & grief…Ahhh…It’s the anniversary of my late husband’s passing from brain cancer tomorrow. Yes, there’s a much deeper issue at play, it’s Life after Trauma!
It’s about grief…
I need to be kind to myself at this time…for God promised…
“…I will turn their grief into joy. And will comfort them, & give them joy for their sorrow.”
Jeremiah 31:13
Disappointment comes to us all, it’s how we process it that counts…Are you disappointed with something in your life today dear friend? What is the deeper issue at play?
Until next time,
Jennifer
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Or in Prayer
© 2019, Jennifer M. Ross teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photo on Pexels.com
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This is so spot on in its raw truth and the path to take, Jennifer. The expectations can sometimes slip in unnoticed or at the very least the significance or level of those expectations. Then when disappointment comes crashing down we see clearly what we had failed to notice. Too often it can mean we are disappointed with God, ourselves, or someone who is significant to us.
I hear you in what you have shared here personally about your own wrestling with disappointment. I hear you about being bushwhacked by the pain of fibromyalgia once again. I hear you and ask the Lord to be there so many thousands of miles away with the gentlest of touches and the most gracious of words.
Hugs,
Pam
Thank you Pam, I appreciate your kind words & thoughts ♥
Jennifer – I am praying of you in your chronic pain and the anniversary of your late husbands passing. Quite a bit all at once. Yes, loss and grief all bundled together.
You happen to hit me on a week where I have felt great disappointment. You are so right it is layer upon layer, and all wrapped up with expectations, and that didn’t come about. As I look closer, thanks to your post, I see it is a deeper wound than I first realized. Unfulfilled hope from a dream of long ago.
Your post will help me put things into perspective and move forward.
Thank you for your words and sharing with Grace & Truth.
Blessings and Prayers, Maree
Thank you Maree, I’m saddened to hear that you too are experiencing disappointment at the moment but greatly encouraged that you have worked through the layers & found the core issue.
May you know His comfort & direction as you move from this place…
Jennifer, I am so sorry you are feeling the loss and grief of not only losing your husband but also the unrelenting pain of fibromyalgia. Yes, be especially kind to yourself at this point in your life. God does promise to turn our pain into joy. Wishing you blessings. Be compassionate to yourself.
Thank you Laurie, I’m just taking it gently at the moment.
Sorry to hear about your fibro… it’s natural to feel disappointed and sad – but I wish you hope and good health too.
Thank you, lovely to have you drop by though Fi 😀
Jennifer, I am so sorry that your fibro has flared up again. I know that feeling of disappointment all too well. But you are so right, that it’s so important to allow the Lord to help us to look deeper and see the layers that may be increasing our feelings. I am praying for you tonight as the grief of losing your late husband feels fresh again. May the Lord be so near to you and give you His deep rest and comfort.
Thank you Bettie for your sweet prayer ♥
A precious post. May God richly bless you.
Thank you, blessing to you too! 🙂
If we don’t sit with and acknowledge our disappointments we are likely to be resentful or grumpy with those around us. I love your honesty here. Disappointment, like other less pleasant feelings, brings a message we need to hear. Sitting with God with the feeling really helps.
Yes, I agree Elizabeth, resentment is an extremely unproductive emotion.
Thank you! It’s all about being authentic in our shared experience which informs & encourages those who maybe going through a similar time.
Yes, He is the best to sit with when experiencing disappointment.
Praying peace and comfort for you as you will surely be reflecting on your late husband, especially tomorrow.
Thank you, yes he was a kind & gentle man, such a sweet season of blessing in my life. 🙂
❤️❤️❤️🙏
Jennifer, I am so sorry you have to deal with chronic pain. Yes, be kind to yourself with the anniversary of the passing of your beloved late husband.
I have faced disappointment this week in someone that I love dearly. Your post is so helpful as I process the pain. Blessings always, Pam
Thank you Pam, he was a sweet man.
I’m saddened to hear you too have experienced the pain of disappointment this week.
Though encouraged that you’re wanting to work through the layers. We can be comforted that He will turn our grief & sorrow into joy ♥
I hope this is only a temporary glitch Jennifer. Sending you warm thoughts and healing hugs for tomorrow.
Thank you Brigid ♥
Jennifer I’m so glad we’ve met. You hit home for me. Normally my dissapointments are the result of the unmet expectation the other person had no idea was expected. You are right as well that things are often much deeper than they seem. You’ve given me some things to think about. My condolences for your loss.
Thank you Lorie, I’m so glad you found encouragement here 😀