As I was waiting near the waterfront the other day for hubby to pick me up, a sudden gust of wind nearly knocked me off my feet in its gale force strength! Interestingly, two gusts were blowing from opposing directions, first there was the nor westerly & then there was the southerly wind…One hot the other cold!
As I looked out across the bay the warmer nor westerly was blowing across the surface of the water whipping up thousands of white capped waves…churning the waters…
Have you found that the Christmas season can be similar my friend!
With opposing winds of emotion blowing across the surface of our hearts, one full of warmth & the other much, much cooler!
Welcome! Would you like a hot cuppa? I’m having hot blueberry tea with some fresh Apple chips as a treat. What are you having?
Now we’re settled with our beverages I’ll let you in on a little secret…I’ve been struggling of late with…indecision!!
I know, I know…it’s not like me at all! I’m normally a very decisive gal!
You see the issue is; juggling Christmas plans versus my unknown physical capacity on the day…
A little background for you….
Over the last several years our combined family have met for a BYO picnic dinner on Christmas Eve at the waterfront. With hubby providing his decadent home made treats of dessert for all (yes he’s an amazing candy & dessert cook!).
This Park has a large playground for our grandchildren to play in, a little Beach for those who want a swim (it’s hot Summer here) & has a cool sea breeze on hot sweltering days.
Plus with a BYO picnic no one person has to do all the cooking (for up to 28-30 of us some years!).
This plan has worked well over this time but in the last few years we have been buffeted by strong sea winds around dessert time which has made it somewhat unpleasant.
So this year I’m thinking…just thinking mind well also desiring…to host Christmas Eve at our home with hubby & I providing both the dinner & dessert for everyone…
It’s juggling my desire to provide a beautiful home cooked Christmas dinner versus my actual energy levels…
So the pros & cons start to blow in opposing directions, one all fuzzy & warm the other much, much cooler! Churning my emotions to white cap waves of indecision!
These currents of apprehension eddy from living with the unpredictability of Fibromyalgia & not knowing how my physical self will be on any given day…
Do you experience indecision or apprehension at this time of the year my friend?
When, what you would love to gift your loved ones may not be practical or even physically possible on the day!
It may be that you are living great distances apart or living the distance of estrangement.
Maybe finances are stretched so tight that the dreamy Christmas you wanted for your family is fading, once again, into dreamland.
Maybe you’re so weary & overwhelmed at the moment that facing dramatic Aunt B or demanding cousin A is more then you can cope with (Christmas blues…may be helpful).
Maybe it’s chronic health issues that are unpredictable & keep you wondering if you will be able to go the distance during the season.
Oh, the winds of family pressures sure do buffet us at this time of the year…don’t they!
Or do they?
If I look at my conundrum objectively, these gusts are not coming from the direction of family but within my own desires & expectations of what I would like to gift them…
I need to be realistic! Maybe a rethinking of the expectations I have of myself while reflecting upon knowing your body’s capacity…
To bring the reality of what Christmas is truly about…Christmas time is celebrating…
The Ultimate Gift of Love…
God’s Love to all mankind through the Christ child ~ Jesus!
Sharing His Redeeming grace…
Stay tuned for a decisive plan of action!
Until next time,
Jennifer is a published author, check out The Book Nook
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