Christmas blues…

photography of trees covered with snow

Welcome dear friend, today I have a particularly delicious tea & treat ready to share with you…

The tea blend is called Turkish delight, a black tea flavored with Rose petals & vanilla. Our treat is a gf fruit mince shortbread bite. Both unusually morish & the combination of the two work beautifully together.

At this time of the year we hear the following lyrics being played over & over through audio systems in shopping centers & malls;

T’is the season to be jolly, tra la la la, la la la”…

But feeling jolly isn’t always the reality for many in this season…as a Clinical Counselor, this is always the busiest time of the year. And the season that has the biggest suicide rate! Why?

Advertising…constantly portraying large happy families gathered together around a gastronomic feast with a huge Christmas tree in the background laden with decorations & mountains of gifts placed under it…everyone is getting on with each other, happy, smiling, laughing, caring & co operative & seemingly wealthy…There is love & stability in these portrayals.  

However for many people around the world this is not their reality! No matter how hard they may have tried over the years with their family to make it so…

Families can be complicated entities…whatever the culture, size, shape or mix…whether large, small, close or distant in locality or relationship, nuclear, combined, separated by choice or by circumstances they are all made up of differing personalities with a shared history…

That history may not have always been a positive or happy one & it may be very painful for some & overwhelming for others to be with family at this time of the year!

Idealized Christmas celebratory scenes can trigger painful memories, hurts or unresolved issues that significant others within the family may not acknowledge or recognize!

Add a little festive alcohol (although the following can happen without alcohol) & old rivalries, hurts, rejections, judgements, frustrations, jealousies or personality clashes can quickly simmer as an undercurrent or bubble & break through the surface… This quite often leads to disastrous encounters…reinforcing a negative family experience…

What do we do in this season that may be full of heartache & the Christmas blues?

Let me personalize this for you…

Having been a family Therapist for many decades now…I realize that there is no such thing as a perfect family on this earth as portrayed in the media, they simply do not exist! As families are made up of imperfect people living imperfect lives! Family groups are individual members who have differing lifestyles, beliefs, ways & opinions to each other trying to come together as one…

Each family group has a momentum uniquely their own & whether negative, positive or a mixture of both, family members share that history…giving each member their unique family experience. We are but visiting members to some family groups & life members of others but the experience remains!

My advice…glean wisdom from your own unique family experience…You cannot control how your family has behaved in the past or will in the future but you can control how you act & react to family!

Whether living with a positive or negative family legacy we can choose what we do with the demands & expectations placed upon us by family in this season or at anytime. If we cannot meet those demands or expectations, for whatever reason then we need to be kind to ourselves! And have wisdom in what we expose our emotional, mental, physical & spiritual self to…

If it’s too emotionally painful or even dangerous to be in particular family member/s presence then limit the time you are at the family gathering or make another time to celebrate with the safe members of your family, until resolution & healing can hopefully take place.

anniversary birthday blur bokeh

Christmas is to celebrate our Creator’s gift of  love to us, His Son Jesus…a gift that totally changed the course of history for all eternity!

He came to bring peace & light to the hearts of men, women & children of all generations…He is that peace…we just need to accept His light!

You may enjoy reading my personal journey in accepting His peace & light, shared in My story..to read just click on the colored text.

Be kind to yourself dear friend & please have wisdom in this season, for you are very precious & loved by Him…Until next time…

Jennifer

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16 thoughts on “Christmas blues…

  1. Jennifer, Christmas can be so difficult for so many. Your counseling experience has seen it for sure. I am grateful for Godly parents who taught by example and for God’s grace in our lives. We are imperfect people who love a perfect God. Thank you for writing and encouraging❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for the reminder and tips, Jennifer. There are so many hurting souls around us and surely none of us are perfect, but reaching others with our Savior’s love and light is even more crucial in these times when the hurting need healing. May the Lord help us to love more and judge less. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well said indeed, Jennifer. I shared some of those similar themes in my Thanksgiving post and a post early last week. In our own family, both of my husband’s parents died in December of different years as did a grandparent. Then his younger brother (as an adult) committed suicide on Christmas Eve after never dealing with the grief of the death of his teenage son eight years previously. What you have shared are reminders that are important to read no matter what the season may be for us personally. Blessings on you, my friend!🎄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re most welcome Boma!
      Yes I agree as highlighted in the above reflection “He is the peace ~ the peace on earth”… also known as the Prince of Peace…
      And as mentioned we need to be working hopefully towards a resolution & healing in these painful family situations…
      In the meantime we need to have wisdom for the safety of all concerned 😀

      Like

  4. This is a great post, Jennifer! It’s so true, there are no perfect families whatever the media might tell us and it is important to remember those who struggle particularly at this time of year. I like the sound of the Turkish Delight tea!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you, Jennifer for this real look at the heightened stress of the Christmas season. A look around the blog world reminds me that many are experiencing this very thing. Thanks for the practical advice, as well – to limit our interactions in toxic situations. This Christmas, I’m reminding myself to simply come to Jesus for the peace that He offers. Blessed Christmas to you!

    Liked by 1 person

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