Family · Grief · Relationships · Spirituality

Heartwrenching news…

It comes to us all…doesn’t it…

Welcome dear friend, it’s time for us to sit & have a cuppa, while we reflect upon some of the more difficult issues in life…

Grab your favorite beverage & treat.


Heartache, heartwrenching, sadness of heart or heart brokenness are all sadly a part of life on planet earth…

You too may have had your fair share of it my friend.

Maybe it was a lost love or a betrayal from that once special someone.

It may have been the death of your dear loved one or one  you didn’t get the chance to show love to…as is part of my story which can be read in Emotional processes …

Whatever the cause of the heartwrenching circumstance, it can be excruciatingly painful!

I remember when my late husband lost his battle with brain cancer, as I wept the night of his passing…

My heart actually physically hurt because I was in such emotional agony in losing my dear sweet gentle husband.

But heartache can also come to us out of concern for others…

We receive the sudden news from a dear friend or family member that they are now facing a life changing situation.

anonymous person pouring tea in cup near roses

It may be a devastating diagnosis.

It may be a fatal or near fatal accident with life changing injuries.

Or the consequences of unwise choices they or a significant other in their life has made.

It may be a financial issue that will now severely impact their lives…whatever the circumstance…our heart truly aches for them…

Our Reaction to heartwrenching news

This past weekend I received some deeply heartwrenching news from one of my dearest friends whom I have known for over forty years.

Her much loved, nineteen year old, grandson was killed in a car accident.

My first reaction was one of wanting to take this pain from my dear friend, as I have experienced this agonizing pain of a sudden violent death of a loved one.

We lost our son in law through a horrific road accident a few years ago.

I wanted to fix her pain in whatever way possible.

And yes those are noble thoughts but are they the correct ones?

Actually this was the time that I needed to stop reacting & think very carefully!

And be very wise in finding out what type of support that she actually needed in her situation.

My dear friend needed me to just be…as we are both still in lockdown due to the Delta variant in our different regions & can’t physically be with each other.

She needs me…

To be praying for her & her family in what they are now facing.

To be sensitive to her need to act & react to her great loss in whatever way.

To be available for her to share how she is feeling or not feeling.

To be giving her much needed time to herself to grasp, grieve & adjust to this major loss when she needs this time.

Otherwise, I can actually be a hindrance to her in her grief!

Allowing God to do His work

We also need to allow God to do His comforting work through the Holy Spirit in the situation as well, as the following scripture wisely tells us;

“For I will turn their mourning into joy


I will comfort them,


I will give them joy for their sorrow.”

Jeremiah 31:13b paraphrased

We can offer much needed love, emotional support & care.

Assuring them we are there for them, upholding them in prayer, as they face this absolutely heartwrenching situation.

But it is not our place to take their pain away,

fix it


 take over the situation for them!

We can offer support in many ways but please, please allow them to have the freedom to either graciously accept or refuse any offer of support without offence being taken, as none would be intended.

Well that brings us to the end of our reflection for today…

I hope this has given you some food for thought when you are faced with heartwrenching news of someone dear to you…

Until next time dear friend…


You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

© 2021 Jennifer M. Ross,, All Rights Reserved. Photo by Melike Benli on 

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42 thoughts on “Heartwrenching news…

  1. I understand wanting to take that pain away – with this devastating loss – and even with the little pains. Yet, taking away pain of the struggles can create bigger problems, bigger struggles. You are so right with your list – to pray, to just be there, to listen and to walk with them through their grief. I am so sorry for your loss and your friend’s deep loss!

    Liked by 1 person

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