Heartwrenching news…

It comes to us all…doesn’t it…

Welcome dear friend, it’s time for us to sit & have a cuppa, while we reflect upon some of the more difficult issues in life…

Grab your favorite beverage & treat.

Heartbreak

Heartache, heartwrenching, sadness of heart or heart brokenness are all sadly a part of life on planet earth…

You too may have had your fair share of it my friend.

Maybe it was a lost love or a betrayal from that once special someone.

It may have been the death of your dear loved one or one  you didn’t get the chance to show love to…as is part of my story which can be read in Emotional processes …

Whatever the cause of the heartwrenching circumstance, it can be excruciatingly painful!

I remember when my late husband lost his battle with brain cancer, as I wept the night of his passing…

My heart actually physically hurt because I was in such emotional agony in losing my dear sweet gentle husband.

But heartache can also come to us out of concern for others…

We receive the sudden news from a dear friend or family member that they are now facing a life changing situation.

anonymous person pouring tea in cup near roses

It may be a devastating diagnosis.

It may be a fatal or near fatal accident with life changing injuries.

Or the consequences of unwise choices they or a significant other in their life has made.

It may be a financial issue that will now severely impact their lives…whatever the circumstance…our heart truly aches for them…

Our Reaction to heartwrenching news

This past weekend I received some deeply heartwrenching news from one of my dearest friends whom I have known for over forty years.

Her much loved, nineteen year old, grandson was killed in a car accident.

My first reaction was one of wanting to take this pain from my dear friend, as I have experienced this agonizing pain of a sudden violent death of a loved one.

We lost our son in law through a horrific road accident a few years ago.

I wanted to fix her pain in whatever way possible.

And yes those are noble thoughts but are they the correct ones?

Actually this was the time that I needed to stop reacting & think very carefully!

And be very wise in finding out what type of support that she actually needed in her situation.

My dear friend needed me to just be…as we are both still in lockdown due to the Delta variant in our different regions & can’t physically be with each other.

She needs me…

To be praying for her & her family in what they are now facing.

To be sensitive to her need to act & react to her great loss in whatever way.

To be available for her to share how she is feeling or not feeling.

To be giving her much needed time to herself to grasp, grieve & adjust to this major loss when she needs this time.

Otherwise, I can actually be a hindrance to her in her grief!

Allowing God to do His work

We also need to allow God to do His comforting work through the Holy Spirit in the situation as well, as the following scripture wisely tells us;

“For I will turn their mourning into joy

&

I will comfort them,

&

I will give them joy for their sorrow.”

Jeremiah 31:13b paraphrased

We can offer much needed love, emotional support & care.

Assuring them we are there for them, upholding them in prayer, as they face this absolutely heartwrenching situation.

But it is not our place to take their pain away,

fix it

or

 take over the situation for them!

We can offer support in many ways but please, please allow them to have the freedom to either graciously accept or refuse any offer of support without offence being taken, as none would be intended.

Well that brings us to the end of our reflection for today…

I hope this has given you some food for thought when you are faced with heartwrenching news of someone dear to you…

Until next time dear friend…

Jennifer

You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook


© 2021 Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog, All Rights Reserved. Photo by Melike Benli on Pexels.com 

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42 thoughts on “Heartwrenching news…

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  1. Jennifer, I am so sorry of the heart wrenching news from your friend. How great is the grief of a sudden death of a family member, a grandson.

    Where do we turn with such pain? The only One who is acquainted with our grief is our comfort. I just prayed for your friend and family.

    Sending love and prayers,
    Pam ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry to hear of your friend’s horrible loss Jennifer. You make such a great point that what people need from us is really just our presence (even if we can’t be there physically). Your reminder that they need to be able to accept or decline offers of help is spot on…. People grieve in different ways and need to be able to do so in the way that’s best for them. Hope you are staying safe and well sweet friend. Blessings to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jennifer, I am so sorry to read of your friend’s loss. It is indeed heartwrenching. Only God can be with her and bring her all she needs – His comfort, His peace, His love. And He will indeed be faithful to her.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah, yes, Jennifer! Very wise words. So often we get in the way of grief without intending to muck it up. Presence (in person and/or in prayer) without lots of words can be the greatest gift of care we can offer. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Jennifer, I am so sorry for your loss. Heart wrenching news is never easy to take no matter how times we may hear it. Thank you for sharing your own feelings and excellent advice for supporting others as they navigate overwhelming grief.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m so sorry for your friend’s devastating loss, Jennifer. I’m sorry, too, that you lost your son-in-law some years ago and your daughter her husband. Thank you for all this wise insight and advice. Love and blessings of special strength and peace to you and your friend in this heart wrenching time!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jennifer, I’m so sorry for your friend’s loss. I wish that you did not know so well what she needs, but I appreciate the hard-earned wisdom that you’ve shared with us. The point about being available so people can share what they are feeling—or not feeling, as the case may be—is so important. When I lost my parents, I was so thankful for friends who simply listened.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Lois ❤️ Losing your parents has been a huge journey for you & continues to be.💕

      Yes, I appreciated the same when I lost my two children, my late husband & our son in law. Having a friend just be there was truly a wonderful blessing.

      Like

  8. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend’s grandson, Jennifer! One of my close friend’s husbands recently died of cancer and it is so hard when we just want to take away our friend’s pain. But, as you say, we can’t. We can just be there and be available to listen and support them, trusting that God will be with them and bring them comfort in their grieving.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m so sorry for your friend’s devastating news and loss. That’s so true–our first instinct to want to take away pain. But when God allows that pain to come, we need to seek how to minister to that loved one.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh, my heart hurts for your friend and for you as you minister to her, Jennifer. 😦 This is indeed devastating news we all dread hearing! I’m thankful your friend has you to understand the pain she is going through as she grieves this loss. May God be a strong presence to her through you and others.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. What a heart-wrenching loss for your friend’s family. I am grateful that she has you as a friend who can understand because you have gone through a similar heartbreak. Somehow those that have gone through similar heartbreaks can be such a comfort and hope each other. I can’t always say “I understand'” when a friend is grieving, but I can always say “I care.” Just being there for another, in a non-fixing way, is a balm for heartache.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Jennifer, I am so, so sorry about the losses you’ve endured over the past number of years, and I’m so sorry about your friend’s loss. With boys right around that age, I cannot fully imagine the devastation of that kind of grief.

    I so appreciate your wisdom in your post. And I also am thankful for the reminder of finding out what kind of support those we care about need. Like you mentioned, I have so often wished I could just fix the pain. But the truth of it is, God is the only one who can heal. We can walk alongside them and pray for them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jeanne ❤️, yes God is the only true healer of such brokenness..
      And we can walk alongside our dear friends as they navigate such unthinkable pain. Keeping them in constant prayer before our Heavenly Father.

      Like

  13. I understand wanting to take that pain away – with this devastating loss – and even with the little pains. Yet, taking away pain of the struggles can create bigger problems, bigger struggles. You are so right with your list – to pray, to just be there, to listen and to walk with them through their grief. I am so sorry for your loss and your friend’s deep loss!

    Liked by 1 person

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