The truth behind the mask…

Welcome my friend! Come on in for a time of reflection over a cuppa together.

Have you ever wanted to right an injustice that you or another has suffered?

Recently, I had a conversation with a group of ladies about injustices suffered at the hands of others. Then that night a program caught my attention as it was about avenging an injustice.

Many of us have suffered injustices in our lives…haven’t we, quite often perpetrated by the ones we trusted most!

But what we do with an injustice is the key to our mental & spiritual wellness!

Before we continue, let’s grab our cuppa’s & get comfy, mine is one of my ol’ favorites today.

A Lady Grey tea because it’s one of those days when you just need a comforting ol’ favorite with a delicious gf Date & Ginger slice.

What is injustice anyway?

The definition of injustice is;

a lack of fairness or justice in a situation.

It’s quite often the unfairness part that really gets to us, isn’t it! The way we or another have been unfairly treated in the situation.

A righteous anger bubbles up from deep within us, for the pure injustice of it all! Thoughts race to how we can right the situation to hold those accountable for the injustice committed!

With thoughts of how dare they & they’re just not going to get away with this!

Which can lead to wandering into thoughts of avenging the injustice or maybe even venturing into vengeful thoughts!

“Revenge is a dish best served cold”

Have you heard that old saying?  It was quoted in the program I watched the other night.

But what does it actually mean?

It means that revenge is more satisfying when it is not done in the heat of the moment but exacted through precise planning & timing. Ah!

This brings us to revenge itself, what is revenge?

The definition of revenge is;

the action of hurting or bringing harm to someone in return for an injury or a wrong suffered at their hand.

Hmmmm! Let’s read that again shall we…

Revenge is the action of hurting or harming someone in return for a wrong suffered at their hand!

Hmmm! Thought provoking…isn’t it!

focus photography of white mask

What vengeful thoughts do…

Through experience as a mental health professional, I’d like to share an observation or two of the reality of that old saying & what enacting it actually does to a precious mind & spirit.

When vengeful thoughts come, they most often take up residence, demanding our complete attention becoming the prime focus of one’s life.

They are there on waking, when at work, when spending time with family, they are the last thing on the mind at night, often stealing much needed sleep.

They stall any progress of healing from the injustice suffered.

Planning revenge is like mixing quick setting concrete, it quickly hardens the heart with a chilling coldness that creeps into both mind & spirit.

Let’s look at that old saying once again shall we..

“Revenge is a dish best served cold

You see the emphasis, the heart has to turn cold to be able to serve a dish of revenge upon another person.

Remembering, revenge is the act of hurting or harming someone!

But what about holding them accountable, Jennifer!

Accountability & revenge are two very different things, my friend.

Too many times I have counseled people who appeared to want “accountability” for an injustice suffered. Only to find a desire for revenge, once the mask for accountability was lifted!

Please note, if a criminal act has been perpetrated, your nation’s Justice system absolutely needs to hold the perpetrator accountable!

Rather, what I’m saying here is that we need to look into the motive of our own heart.

We have choices when we suffer an injustice…

Let’s make this personal…

Many years ago, I had a medical procedure that through the physician’s negligence  caused the death of my unborn son Benjamin & my own heart to fail, you can read the account Here

However, I had the following choices;

  • To pursue a legal battle for compensation as a medical negligence case (though no amount of compensation could bring my son back).
  • To continue leaving it in the hands of The Australian Medical Board for accountability of the physician, so this wouldn’t happen to another expectant mother & child.
  • To forgive the physician.

I sought my heavenly Father in prayer for clear direction, as I was extremely distraught, grieving the loss of my only son Benjamin & reeling in the absolute unfairness of it all.

This is the answer I received…

“Don’t avenge your case, that’s not for you to do. Leave room for me to work. I do the judging, I’ll take care of it.” says the Lord.

Romans 12:19 (paraphrased)

What God called me to do…

I can tell you now dear friend, that it was not easy to come to that place of forgiveness but it was necessary.

You see I could have chosen to go down the path of legal pursuit. But that choice for me at the time was not God’s will for my life.

It took God’s almighty love, grace & strength given to me in great measure, for me to come to that place of forgiveness.

And it was totally freeing!

As unforgiveness holds us bound to the perpetrator.

Where God’s forgiveness breaks those bonds completely.

Allowing God & the appropriate authorities to deal with our injustice leaves room for God to not only work in the life of the perpetrator but us as well.

Forgiveness brought peace of mind & I was able to get back to fully concentrating on raising my beautiful young daughters, who are now all amazing women of whom I’m exceedingly proud.

We need to check where we’re at when experiencing the pain of injustice my friend.

If we find ourselves getting stuck in vengeful thoughts. Then seek help, remember God’s door of prayer is always open to you!

And for professional help please seek a Counselor or pastor in your area.

Until next time,




You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook



Featured at Maree Dee’s Grace & Truth LinkUp

© 2020 Jennifer M. Ross,, All Rights Reserved. Photo on

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35 thoughts on “The truth behind the mask…

Add yours

  1. Jennifer, thank you dear friend for this post. Forgiveness for others’ wrongs might be hard, but when I think of how a Holy, Righteous God has forgiven me, how can I not forgive. You are so correct, forgiveness sets us free, unforgiveness keeps us bound up. Sweet blessings~


  2. I’m so sorry you lost your precious son, Jennifer. How heart-wrenching! One would surely need God’s grace to forgive and to submit to God’s will even when we don’t understand. Love and blessings to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If it weren’t for my faith in God and His infinite love and justice, I would be at a loss. I have no idea how God can be both totally merciful and totally just, but I trust that He is and leave the rest to Him. I have suffered immeasurably in my life and it would consume me trying to seek justice myself. I have much better things to do and God has given them to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree Elizabeth, it’s comforting to know that He is both a just & merciful God (a mysterious combination).
      And leaving justice in His hands frees us to get on with our lives & enjoy the amazing blessings He has given us, as you are experiencing. Bless you!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for sharing your story. That must have been so hard to forgive. But I agree, it is not good for us to hold on to a desire for revenge. There is definitely peace when we manage to leave it with God.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Jennifer, you made the wise choice in a very difficult situation. I have read the accounts of your story before. I once read a profound quote on the subject: “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I love what you said, “As unforgiveness holds us bound to the perpetrator.” This is so true. I love the choice you made with God. It was a good and right choice for you and your beautiful daughters. Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth Link-Up. Maree

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dear Jennifer,
    Your story of God’s mercy in such hard places is such a clear picture of how God’s ways are so much higher than ours. We cannot find that kind of forgiveness on our own. But you show us that HE can make that possible as we surrender to Him. Thank you for speaking truth and for sharing your precious heart with us. Blessings and love and prayers for you tonight.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Jennifer,
    I’m so sorry that you had to endure that pain, but what you did subsequently – choose to forgive – speaks volumes. Forgiveness withheld does bind us to a prison of our own making. God is the ultimate judge so in releasing it to Him lets me know justice will be served, but I don’t have to hold onto vengeful thinking. Excellent post!
    Bev xx

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Forgiveness really does free us, not the other person. It is a sort of releasing to let God or life or something else deal with the case to right the wrong. And when we do, we can move forward and heal. So much of the healing process for me is seeing the person as flawed and feeling pity for their choices and the motivation to do what they did. Seeing them this way dissipates the anger I have towards them.


  10. Please let me offer a word to you Jennifer. You sharing your story is very important and interesting. I only had 2 daughters by age 20. I never had any more children. I felt cheated I never had a son. I felt angry. I felt tricked for many years. You sharing your story reminds me God loves each and everyone by his grace only. Now fast forward I have grand children 2 girls 3 boys by God’s grace. God bless you. God equals love

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a testimony you have Ginette! And you’re right He does bless us in our golden years, I now have four grandsons & 3 granddaughters + 2 step grandsons & 1 step granddaughter. My quiver is full! Bless you.


  11. St. Augustine said that the only difference between an unbeliever and a believer is not the challenge because we both face the same challenges – but the believer faces and walks through the challenge with God. You, my friend, have faced the hardest of challenges – and chose God to walk through it and handle it – and gain peace and hope. Only God can heal a broken heart like that! Thank you for sharing what God has done for you – so we can better face our challenges!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like that quote Maryleigh! Thank you! Lovely having you drop by for a cuppa today & I’m so glad you found inspiration through my experience of walking in God’s love & forgiveness. Bless you! 😀


  12. What a beautiful response to a heart-rending situation. But it was the only response that would bring you peace. It upsets me when I hear of people taking other people to court to get money as restitution to some wrongdoing. That money can never undo what has been done, neither is it a substitute for it. It must be terribly stressful for the person taking any form or degree of revenge as well. How much healthier and freeing to simply forgive, and as you said, for a criminal act to be left to the justice system to deal with. Thanks for sharing this lovely post Jennifer.

    Liked by 1 person

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