It comes to us all…doesn’t it…
Welcome dear friend, it’s time for us to sit & enjoy a cuppa, while we reflect upon some of the more difficult issues in life…
Grab your favorite beverage & tidbit of deliciousness…I’m having a cup of Chai tea made with almond milk & a bliss ball made from raw cocoa, almond meal, dates & coconut…mmmm…Delicious!
Heartbreak
Heartache, heartbreak, sadness of heart or heart brokenness are all a part of life on planet earth…you too may have had your fair share of it, maybe it was a lost love; or a betrayal from a once special someone.
Or it may have been the death of your loved one or one who you didn’t get the chance to show love to…as is part of my story which can be read in Emotional processes …
Whatever the cause of the agony of heart, it can be excruciatingly painful! I remember when my late husband lost his life to brain cancer, as I wept the night of his passing…my heart physically hurt because I was in such agony in losing my dear sweet gentle man…
But heartache can also come to us out of concern for others…we may get the sudden news from a dear friend or family member, that they are now facing a life changing & difficult situation..
It may be a devastating diagnosis; or it may be a fatal or near fatal accident with life changing injuries; or the consequences of unwise choices in their life.
Or it may be a financial issue that will now severely impact their lives…the list could go on…but our heart truly aches for them…
Our Reaction to heartache
Our first reaction may want to take this pain from them…or we may want to try & fix it…or help them in whatever way possible…& yes these are all noble thoughts to our initial reaction…but are they the correct ones for the situation?
Actually this is the time that we need to stop reacting & think very carefully & wisely about the type of support that is actually needed…the other person may need us to just be…
To be praying for them in what they are now facing, to be sensitive to their need to act & react in their new situation, to be available for them to share how they are feeling or not feeling.
To be giving them much needed time to themselves to grasp, grieve & adjust to this major life changing circumstance… otherwise we can actually be a hindrance to them!
Allowing God to do His work
We also need to allow God to do His work in the situation, as the following ancient script wisely tells us;
“For I will turn their mourning into joy & will comfort them, & give them joy for their sorrow.”
Jeremiah 31:13b Refer
We can offer & give them much needed love, emotional support & care….assuring we are there for them, upholding them in prayer, as they face this new norm but it is not our place to take it away, fix it or take over the situation for them.
We can offer support in many ways but please allow them to have the freedom to either graciously accept or refuse any practical offer of support without any offence being taken…as none would be intended.
Well that brings us to the end of our reflection for today…I hope this has given you some food for thought…
Until next time dear friend…
Jennifer
Jennifer is a published author, discover more in The Book Nook
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Sometimes we are so uncomfortable around another’s pain that we want to fix it so that we will feel better. It is hard just to accompany one in pain, though that is all we really need from one another.
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This is very true Elizabeth, we just need to know that the other is there if we need that listening ear, getting together over tea or coffee & having that reassurance that we are not alone.
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Exactly.
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Jennifer, you are so right when you say we will experience heartache in this life. I always wish I could take away another’s pain and sorrow. I know just being there is what they most need from us.❤️
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Definitely Pam, it is comforting knowing that support is there when we need it ♡
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You are SO RIGHT on this, Jennifer! It is so often not what we receive and we need to learn how to offer this in the midst of loss. Thank you for this wise counsel, my friend!
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Thank you Pam, it’s tricky…isn’t it! We quite often act upon our reaction to the situation rather than thinking through what is actually needed before we act…
Blessings,
Jennifer
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Thank you Jennifer for these insights on heartache.
The Lord redeems everything that touches our lives and as you so rightly stated, it is not up to us to fix it, but to be a prayer warrior and support to them, for God will redeem their pain.
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Absolutely Karen! At times we just need to allow God to do His work 😀
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People seem to have a hard time being vulnerable around another person. I learned this first hand when I got sick. Thank you for bringing awareness to this very important part of life.
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Yes, feeling vulnerable can be very scary indeed…especially when we have been very independent people throughout our lives…however it can give our significant others in our life an opportunity to share their vulnerabilities with us too. 😉
You’re welcome, lovely to have you drop by for a cuppa… sending you a gentle hug! 😀
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YES to the other person simply wanting you to be.
I have asked God to remove from me the intense feeling that comes when I enter into another’s pain – sometimes it is too much, feels too much. But he gives that response and can shape it (for my good and the other person’s)… as I seek that.
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Absolutely He can & does Susan. So nice to have you drop by & I am blessed to know you found some inspiration here 😀
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Thank you, Jennifer. ❤ This is just what I needed to hear today… Sometimes I want to jump right in and try to fix things for others, but just making myself available and keeping them in prayer is what they need most. xo
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Yes, being loving & caring women Bette, we want to just jump right in there but we need to have that wisdom & allow God to do His work, while being available if needed ♥ Jennifer
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I too struggle with the “fix-it-mentality.” I want to make everything better for everyone. I love peace too and want to smooth out conflict. But sometimes, we need to let people work through heartache so God is more real in their lives. Thanks for sharing on the #LMMLinkup this week.
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Absolutely Mary! And be available when needed 😀
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This broken world is so painful at times. But we can definitely lighten someone else’s load. laurensparks.net
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Definitely Lauren, we just need to be wise in how we offer & enact that help 😉
Lovely having you drop by 😀
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Thank you for the wise words…once again. I know you speak from experience. One of my besties passed from cancer a little over a year ago. She taught me the same. Yet I need to be reminded of this and respond very carefully and wisely as you say here. The temptation is great to respond in ways that probably make ME feel better more than the person hurting. This is so important to remember…gosh I hope I do when those moments and seasons inevitably come again in life…
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Hi Amy,
Sorry to hear the loss of your dear friend, that is a difficult time to go through…sending gentle hugs to you dear one!
Yes that is a very good point! We all feel that way don’t we, when our heart aches for another we want to take that heartache away from our self as much as the other because it is just so very sad & uncomfortable.
However the last thing the other needs is having to deal with our emotions at the same time they are facing the situation that is causing the heartache in their life.
♥ Jennifer
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Oh, Jennifer, you have hit the nail on the head with this post. When those close to me suffer heartache, I immediately try to be the fixer. Action is my first response. I need to stop, consider the situation, and JUST BE. Thank you for this.
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You’re most welcome Laurie! It’s always difficult to see loved ones go through difficult situations but we need to take it to the Lord before we jump in & get in His way 😉
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This is definitely not the time to rush our friends to get over their grief and worries, Jennifer! Thanks for this important and timely reminder!
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Absolutely Beth!
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Wise words! It’s so important to stop before saying something and consider just BEING with them rather than trying to say the “right” thing.
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Yes, most often our supportive presence is the most needed in difficult situations. Lovely having you drop by Elena 😀
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