Home sweet home

I heard what I thought was a knock at the front door, I opened it…sitting on the mat before me….is my big Russian Blue cat, Bobbie…& my work dog Polly…

How lovely to have you drop by for our time of tea & reflection together…I am reminiscing today…

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We have traveled back to 2002, I have prepared an Australian Afternoon tea blend, its a strong black tea which I water down with extra boiling water on the side, as its a little too robust for my palate & fresh delicious Gf Lamingtons await us…

We are sitting on the side verandah of my homestead with the sun warming us in our comfy chairs & a small recycled table nestled between us. We are looking out over the paddocks down to the creek that weaves across the front of the property, birds are singing & sheep are bleating…

Present reflection….around this time each year, I go deeper into thought & become a lot quieter than normal, my husband asks if I’m okay, I then realize…its that time again…when my sweet gentle late husband was diagnosed on April 30, 2002 with brain cancer (Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade 4 ~ was the clinical term). We only had 12 weeks together after that diagnosis to his final passing on August 3, 2002.

You see our subconscious minds have a memory of past traumatic events, which quite often precedes our conscious memory….this has an effect upon our emotions & on our behavior!

Back to Bobbie on the doorstep in 2002, he has been rather naughty & stayed out all night…Polly, my Australian Kelpie, being part of the family decides to have her say in the situation by barking her “talking bark” which is quite comical. They have a love hate relationship these pets of mine, each morning they lovingly greet each other than have spats for the rest of the day!

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My thoughts now wander to when my late husband had passed away a few months beforehand…now living alone in our rural Homestead on an 800 acre working farm. We have reduced the stock to 800 head of fine merino sheep from 1200 & are debating over a cuppa, on this same verandah, as to whether to sow this years crops or not. As we are in the beginning of a drought (that would last for years) & are already hand feeding sheep each morning, from our grain storage & Lucerne hay stores. “We” are my late husband’s eldest son & I, it has been a traumatic & devastating few months, we are still trying to come to terms, each in our own way, with this death. He the death of his Dad…me the death of my beloved husband & work mate!

It was comforting to be in our home that we had created together, it was lovely to go out & work the farm each day, have my pets as little companions… Polly beside me working the sheep & Bobbie to greet me when I came home but there came a time when change would inevitably come & a new home sweet home would become a place of sanctuary…in a different season of my life…enjoy Tea by the sea…

Death & loss, grief & sadness, healing & wholeness are all a part of life…this life…it’s how we handle it for our continued wellbeing, is the main thing…I handle mine with God…in His strength, wisdom & healing…please read Mending brokenness

We don’t get over the loss of a loved one but we can come to a place of acceptance…it is okay to remember them & enjoy the happy memories & be kind to ourselves when the sad memories come…for they will surely arise especially at significant times like anniversaries that you shared together! It’s just a part of being human & what we have been created to be…emotional beings!

Well I hope you enjoyed our Aussie tea & Lamingtons on the verandah…thank you for journeying with me back to a difficult time in my life that is now remembered with fondness & kindness…I truly appreciated your company!

If my story has triggered memories for you of your loved one who has passed, enjoy the happy memories & be kind to yourself in the sadder ones…however, if your life is being significantly impacted by grief, to the point where you can’t maintain your normal life…then please seek professional help…God’s help comes through others too…

Until next time…

Jennifer

Copyright: teawithjennifer.blog

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35 thoughts on “Home sweet home

  1. I lost my son on June 6, 2017. This is a time for me, also, to become quietly reflective. My wish for everyone who has lost someone they love is that the memories bring more smiles than tears.

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  2. The only reason I knew what Lamingtons are is because I watched Zumbo’s Just Desserts on Netflix ;). Now that we have that connection established, your homestead sounds wonderful. April is a tough month for me because that’s when my husband received a non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma diagnosis (despite a rather traumatic journey, God healed him), and the month our daughter got out of the psych ward and came home to continue healing. But God is good, all the time. He has helped me recover from both of those events!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Praise Him! You have had a difficult journey Anita but you are now bringing such encouragement to others through the healing blessings that God has given to you through those times.
      What an amazing testimony you have!

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  3. A lovely remembrance. I lost my first husband when I was thirty-two. I coped with my grief by writing letters to him in heaven. Now all these years later, I write books for children. I have been blessed because along the way I met my current husband and love of my life, and we have a beautiful daughter. God has been good to me :0)

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  4. I love the tenderness of this post. It’s precious to see where you were and how you journey through with the blessings that God provided. A son, pets, some comforting tea, and His presence. And persistence!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am just catching up on posts from being away. This one touched me. Today I was behind a couple at the grocery store. The wife was following her husband by watching his feet move forward as he shopped. Clearly she had dementia, but could still walk. Occasionally he stopped and reassured her. They were my age and I was struck by the challenges so many face with quiet courage and steady commitment.

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  6. Jennifer – what a beautiful peace to keep the memory alive on a sweet note, and I understand why you would get contemplative and quiet around the same time each year. So, do you still live on the 800-acre farm? Do you still Have all the crops and livestock too? Thanks for linking up and stopping by over at #TuneInThursday today

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jennifer – I enjoyed the tea, however robust. I needed a good strong cuppa this afternoon. I so understand the remembering – those times leave imprints on our souls. I just wrote about that the other day. I love the way you draw us in with tea and cookies and extremely well-written words. xo

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