Listening…

“Are you still there?” asked the voice on the other end…our mobile signal here at home is poor & intermittent…but this wasn’t the issue….”yes I am still here, I was listening to what you were saying” I replied…..”Oh, I thought we had lost the signal” said the voice…

Today I am having a cup of Lf café latte…a treat I often have when I am out & about…it is accompanied by some Gf sweet almond bread. We are sitting out over the water at a village restaurant which is on the marina. I can hear the gentle lapping of the water under my feet & the squawking of the seagulls in the background, it isn’t busy at this time of the morning, so it’s quiet & relaxing…I have found a table for us in the sunshine looking out over the bay…shall we begin our time of reflection together…

Listening, communicating & conversations are different elements that successfully work together to bring clarity for understanding between two or more parties & nurtures relationships. But what happens when one or more of these elements aren’t functioning properly, like our mobile signals at times, we either get disjointed understanding, frustrated emotions or a break in connection…

Listening also involves complex high order cognitive functioning & processing of what is being communicated…& involves high levels of energy…..since having the demanding tenants take up residence…shared in Focus…I have struggled with energy levels, combined with the malady of what is known as “Fibro fog”…which is a brain haze that interrupts quick & effective cognitive processing especially for communication & language (we can’t think of the word we want to use or lose concentration in the conversation etc)…just like a bad mobile signal…fibro fog & low energy levels have disrupted my ability to converse on the phone, most days.

Just to add another ingredient in the mix…I am a listener & have always found listening much easier than talking (that’s why I enjoy writing, I can take time to process what I want to say! And if you have read my Meet Jennifer page you will know that my career involves professional listening!). Thus, if the other on the phone enjoys talking, I can listen while energy levels permit….but if the other is a listener,  then this creates a huge pressure…inducing stress to keep the conversation going…which in turn impacts the fibro fog… causing anxiety & my cognitive processes to overload & stall! Agghhh!

How to work through this overwhelming issue is one of the daily challenges we face…as there are many who experience brain fog in their chronic illnesses…the following is to share how I am addressing this malady;

• Firstly, I have learnt to be kind to myself in this mind malaise, as I can not change the situation, there is no cure for the demanding tenants that have taken up residence (although I am definitely open & hoping for a miracle anytime!). In the meantime I am doing my best but I need to listen to my body’s capabilities each day. Otherwise the demanding tenant called Fibromyalgia will take its revenge tenfold.
• I have shared the situation with family & friends, as best I can. Trusting, they have some understanding when I can not make or take calls…but that they are still very loved & cherished!

However, keeping the lines of communication open with family & friends is very important to me & I still desire a two-way connection with them otherwise isolation, dissociation & ultimately a disconnection can creep in…so…

• I use other forms of communication to keep in contact…mainly in written format through mobile text messages & emails…until I have the opportunity to see them face to face & spend quality time together.

So, if a significant other in your life has chronic health issues, that have irreversibly changed their lives, please be kind, patient & compassionate with their new normal…they really are trying to do their very best in the daily challenges they face…they aren’t rejecting you, they are still who they have always been, they can still be who they are in these challenges….but they do need that understanding from you…

If you are the one facing these challenges, be kind to yourself! I would love to hear what your coping strategies are with the challenge of brain fog.

Well, the restaurant is much busier now & our lattes are finished, so it’s time for us to leave…until next time…dear friend…

Jennifer

© teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photo by Pexels.com

Blog link up