Welcome my friend, come on in & we’ll enjoy a cuppa together while reflecting upon how we deal with that most insidious of things called betrayal.

But first let’s grab our cuppa’s & get comfy.

Today, I’m having a change from tea & enjoying a mug of Caramel coffee this morning with a small slice of gf Carrot Cake. What are you having?

Now we’re settled let’s begin.

What is Betrayal?

Betrayal can be defined in the following way;

‘ a violation of a person’s trust, confidence, of a moral or ethical standard…’

The initial reactions to a betrayal…

Sadly our initial reaction is emotional pain, often feeling like someone has emotionally slapped us across the face or as many clients have described to me, a feeling of being physically sick to the stomach.

Personally, I feel like I have been slapped across the face when my trust has been violated in a betrayal that has come to light.

The next reaction, hot on the heals of emotional pain & hurt, is often indignation!

Indignation can be defined as;

‘Righteous anger provoked by unfair treatment.’

But what do we do with these reactions?

Well, the initial feeling of pain & hurt (the feeling of being emotionally slapped or physically ill in the stomach) is involuntary.

We don’t have control over these, so we need to wait for these to subside, which unfortunately can take a while depending on the depth of betrayal.

The second reaction indignation, this is the one we need to quickly grab the reigns to gain control.

For this one can gallop away on us at top speed if we allow it.

Reacting in anger, even righteous anger does not often end well & in keeping with the horse riding analogy, anger has blinkers on that will prevent us from seeing the full picture.

And in order to deal with a betrayal we definitely need to have a full & clear view of the situation.

For it may involve others, who although completely innocent of the betrayal, would be adversely impacted if we react or act rashly.

How do we do this?

Well, first let me advise you that indignation is not easy to gain control of as the depth of hurt will often match the height to which it will rise to…

Let me explain, if the betrayal is huge, life altering or there’s an already existing history of betrayal within the relationship/s then the indignation will also be huge.

This is the time we need to pause, asking God for His help through prayer for wisdom & guidance.

And we may have to keep going back to Him for His peace to fill us, for the hurt will often fuel the indignation & the indignation will want to take immediate action to right the injustice of it all!

However this would be most unwise, for in every case of betrayal we need God’s wisdom, not our own.

As we don’t know exactly what God is doing or going to do with the situation.

What do we do when God asks us to keep loving those who have betrayed us?

This my friend needs to be clarified here, I’m not talking about any type of criminal activity or abuse.

If you have been abused, assaulted or had any type of criminal offence enacted against you please seek the appropriate authorities now.

For God does not expect us to stay in any type of abusive relationship, nor tolerate any type of Criminal offence perpetrated against us.

What I’m talking about here is a betrayal in either family, personal relationships or friendships that is not classified under law as a Criminal offence or Abuse per se.

Now the love that God asks us to love, will be first & foremost His love not our own.

It will also have His wisdom in what that love will look like from that point.

For God has warned us to;

‘Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow well springs of life.’ Prov 4:23

This means that the level of trust going forward is to be wisely guarded within the relationship.

It means that we need to be very cautious with the people/person concerned.

While we can still love, that love may need to be from afar depending on the seriousness & depth of the betrayal.

For God does not expect us to allow people to continually hurt us.

And in some circumstances we may even need to leave them in God’s hands & move on with our lives.

Trusting Him to work in their lives. However, He will guide & direct us in this decision.

His love will also be bathed in forgiveness, His forgiveness.

For God wants us to be free of the emotional hurt & pain that would bind us to a betrayal.

Remember forgiving a betrayal does not excuse the betrayal nor the injustice of it but rather allows God to heal our heart & to work in the situation.

What action should we take?

The course of action to be taken, if any, will be one that has God’s wisdom & guidance all over it.

For remember the action taken, if not guided by the Holy Spirit, may adversely affect other’s lives that are completely innocent of this betrayal.

It’s a very sad day indeed when betrayal comes to light.

But we can be assured that our Heavenly Father is there for us. Guiding, directing & comforting us in our pain.

You may also find my post “They’ve got my back!” most  helpful at this point.

What initial reactions have you experienced when a betrayal has come to light my friend? Please share…

Until next time,

Jennifer

You’re also most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

Or in Prayer

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