Letting go of Resentment

Welcome my friend! We’re going to have to enjoy a lovely cuppa by the virtual waterfront today as we’re in lock down here.

The insidious, highly virulent Delta variant of CoVid has silently invaded our community & schools.

Where it has now set it’s sights on the younger generation!

Our whole region has been sent into a snap lock down… again!

One could feel very resentful of this pandemic!

A pandemic that has us constantly living in a reality similar to a Sci-fi movie with its first, second & third waves of an alien force!

A force that we can’t see but keeps morphing into an increasingly stronger foe pushing back against all our lines of defence!

A force that has indelibly changed our lives.

Let’s make this personal;

All the children, teachers, staff & their families in these schools threatened by this invasion are now in 14 days of isolation/quarantine including five of my family members!

My granddaughter’s wedding is in a few weeks but we are locked out of her state because of Delta!

And the long awaited visit with my grandson’s who also live in that state is now postponed until…I have no idea!

It is a of great concern when this foe is threatening our families!

And it’s really emotionally painful when we miss out on precious family time & events.

Yes, I could get very resentful indeed! But…

Resentment leads to a darker side of life

Being a Clinical Counsellor I have crossed paths with many people who were resentful.

It may have been resentment from a current or past hurt, maybe from a soured relationship or a traumatic event (including a pandemic).

Whatever the cause, life from that point is only viewed through a dark lens of resentment.

In other words everything gets filtered through that hurt, shading life in a negative veil of emotional pain.

This not only greatly impacts one’s quality of life but also the lives of others!

Let’s look at what living in resentment does…

Living in Resentment

Maybe someone or something really hurt us. Which caused deep emotional pain.

This emotional pain may even have been truly traumatizing.

But here’s the problem with holding onto emotional pain…it binds us to that hurt or the person who hurt us!

And it will continue to bind us to that traumatic event & time period until we release it. 

Resentment holds us captive!

And all our relationships will be tainted by that resentful attitude.

Because when resentment is held it doesn’t stagnate it morphs, just like CoVid has morphed into a stronger variant.

Resentment morphs 

Resentment morphs into bitterness.

“…Stephen Diamond, Ph.D., defines bitterness as;

 “a chronic and pervasive state of smoldering resentment,” and regards it as “one of the most destructive and toxic of human emotions.”

If we repeatedly ruminate over how we’ve been victimized, “nursing” wrongs may eventually come to define some essential part of who we are.

Take hold of our very personality. We’ll end up becoming victims not so much of anyone [or anything] else but of ourselves.” Ref

Bitterness is one of the most destructive & toxic human emotions. 

red lens sunglasses on sand near sea at sunset selective focus photography

Bitterness can become so entrenched that as Dr Diamond states above it will take hold of that person’s very personality…they end up becoming victims not so much of anyone else but of themselves!

The need to let go

If you see yourself here as the One who has held onto hurt, no matter how big or small & know its morphing or already has morphed into toxic resentment.

Then its time to let go my friend. And there’s no time like the present.

And before you think,

‘Jennifer you don’t know what you’re asking’,

I can tell you my friend that I have been at the cross roads of choosing to hold on to hurt/pain or release it many times throughout my life. More shared here in Forgiving the Unthinkable

But each time I stood at that cross roads, I came to the realisation that one road led to the death of me as a person & the other led to life!

How to let go

The way that really works is;

Go to a place where you can be alone.

Next have a chat with our Heavenly Father in Prayer.

Share with Him your emotional pain & resentment over what’s troubling or hurting you.

Write down that pain on a piece of paper & then burn that paper, as a physical symbol that you have truly released it to the Lord.

Then allow the Holy Spirit to fill the space where that hurt previously occupied with His supernatural peace.

For we are implored to,

“Let all bitterness, anger, rage, bad temper, resentment, quarreling & malice of any kind be released… becoming kind, tender hearted, compassionate,  understanding,  forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.”

Ephesians 5: 31-32

This is our fourth post in the Hidden Series.

Until next time,

Jennifer

You’re welcome to join me in The Reading Nook


© 2021 Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photo by Nitin Dhumal on Pexels.com

Featured at Lauren Sparks & Lisa Notes Grace & Truth Link Up

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34 thoughts on “Letting go of Resentment

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  1. Jennifer, I am sharing this excellent read with others. Bitterness keeps you in your own prison! Letting go of that bitterness is freedom. Bitterness is a root that grows deeper and deeper if it isn’t removed.

    Hugs,
    Pam

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, my heart hurts for all you’re not getting to do again, Jennifer. But you do have a good attitude about it. These are definitely unprecedented times and it doesn’t help if we add bitterness to them as well. I really need to stay at this; it’s been such a struggle to not feel resentment when some people don’t go along with the rules, then we all suffer.

    You’re so right that this is the thing to do instead: “allow the Holy Spirit to fill the space that hurt previously occupied with His peace.” I needed this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Lisa, it is very strange times we live in! But God already knew all of this would happen so in that we can rest & take comfort, He has this & we’ll see family again in time 🤗

      Like

      1. I appreciate your words, Jennifer! I’m currently awaiting word from my daughter’s covid test over the weekend. She thinks she’s only having allergy troubles, but she wanted to be sure. I’m awaiting word to know if I should cancel my own plans for the week since I was around her almost daily last week. Yes, definitely strange times we’re in!

        Anyway, I’m going to feature your post this Friday at my blog for the Grace & Truth linkup.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Jennifer, Covid has definitely wreaked havoc around the world, leaving a residue of underlying stress over every aspect of our lives. I agree. Bitterness and resentment poison our lives, our perceptions, and our responses to others. I so appreciate your words and suggestions for dealing with it. Thank you for sharing. I’m hoping your region isn’t locked down for too long. So sorry you’re dealing with that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s definitely been an emotional roller coaster ride for all of us Jeanne.
      The saddest is missing out on family time & big life events like 21st birthday celebrations, engagements & weddings.
      Having said that, we still have our loved ones to catch up with in time.
      My heart breaks for those who have lost loved ones to CoVid, I know how devastating it can be to lose loved ones.
      Lovely having you join me in a cuppa today 😀

      Like

  4. I am so sorry you are missing out of being with your people for these special events – and just fellowship with them. Your post is such a needed message – whether it’s with a virus that’s stopping us from doing what we want, or people who hurt us – not just once but over and over! Let us not become victims of our own disappointments! Bitterness is a deadly enemy to our souls! Thank you for this encouragement! Shalom, friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Maryleigh. It’s difficult but I’m looking forward to seeing them when the time comes.
      Yes, bitterness is definitely a slow death of our souls at our own choosing!
      Lovely having you drop by today ☺️

      Like

  5. Resent comes from the French, ressentir, which means to feel. And resent has come to mean that we feel bitterness. That is a horrible feeling, indeed. And the Lord condemns it. This is such a needed post (and I’m so glad that Lisa referred me here). Thank you for your compassion in writing it! I am starting to resent those who won’t get vaccinated (there are obvious good exceptions when people’s doctors advise against it for certain patients), but I mean when people don’t do their personal investigation of its safety, and just rely on false claims and political persuasions–even just listening to Facebook friends as reliable sources. This I have resented. And I have resented those who won’t wear masks (listening to the wisdom of epidemiologists and the heart-cries of beleaguered hospital staff) simply because they just. don’t. want. to. They are refusing because of some illogical “right,” disregarding that we are all drowning in a pandemic boat in a pandemic ocean. It’s pandemonium out there, and what one does affects what all do and suffer. It’s not loving our neighbors. And just a little mask would help. BUT you are so right, Jennifer! As a Christian, as a great, big redeemed sinner to whom the Lord has shown unparalleled, undeserved mercy, who the heck am I to resent anyone? Lord, forgive me. I must focus my heart on ultimate bitterness–that bitter cup that my Lord drank to the dregs, and all for me. This is bitterness I shall never, ever comprehend, and never need to taste, because He drained the bitter cup dry! I need to display compassion and forgiveness like Him. Thank you for sharing.
    Lynn

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Lynn for your candidacy here while processing your thoughts & feelings in this overwhelming pandemic & strangest of times.
      I’m delighted you’ve found peace once again in Jesus love & sacrifice for you.
      Lovely having you drop by today ☺️

      Like

  6. Thank you, thank you! I knew I had resentment towards more than a few people. I have been very saddened by it all. Thank you for teaching me, showing me that I need to release it to God and I need to forgive. I am so grateful that you are featured on Grace & Truth today. I am also sorry for the walls going up between states again that you are unable to visit family. As you told Lisa, God knew and knows these things would be in play this very day, this very week. May God continue to use you to help us walk in obedience to God.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re most welcome Linda! Resentment can so easily creep in before we realise it. Handing it over to the Lord releases us from its hold upon us & His peace replaces it once again.
      So delighted you dropped by today my friend. 😀

      Like

  7. This is so true, Jennifer, “Bitterness is one of the most destructive & toxic human emotions.” When doing genealogy research, I have found families where several siblings stopped talking with other siblings – and no one remembers why! They let a mild resentment turn into a pathway of bitterness that affected their lives and their children’s lives.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh that is so sad Lisa. Sadly, it happens all too often in families today.
      I think the saddest thing though is when one sibling rejects any attempts of reconciliation with the others. And continues the bitterness in the family.
      So lovely having you join me in a cuppa today 🤗

      Like

  8. I like all your steps on how to let resentment go! There is something so healing when we physically do something to heal our mind. Keeping my heart soft instead of bitter hard does take work! I pray for your country, for wisdom for the leaders and citizens as they walk through this time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Lynn, we certainly need your prayers. Things aren’t good here at all…
      I’m so glad we know the Lord otherwise it would be quite scary what’s happening with this Delta variant in our country at the moment.
      I’m delighted you dropped by today 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  9. So true about resentment and bitterness: at best it’s a ball and chain, at worst it can infect your whole being like a cancer. People are frightened about Covid, and governments are not handling it well either. My weakness for resentment is those personal slights and perceived “micro-aggressions”. I have to imagine myself physically handing them over to the Lord.

    Great writing! Visiting from Lisa Notes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you David, you have highlighted an important issue that I think we can all have at times.
      The perceived ‘micro-aggressions,’ whether intentional or not, from others that we may take as personal affronts.

      However, you’re strategy is the right course of action, we need to hand them over to the Lord or they will build into a ‘macro’ resentment & gradually morph into bitterness.
      Lovely having you drop by today 😀

      Like

  10. Oh, this is so good, Jennifer! It’s so easy to let little resentments grow and take hold of our thoughts and emotions. I did this with my mother-in-law for years. It took a lot of prayer and journaling to break free from the grip of bitterness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Anita!
      Resentment & bitterness are so insidious once they take hold… aren’t they!
      But I’m delighted you chose to take the steps to break free & put in the hard work to get there! Bless you 😀

      Like

  11. That’s so hard to be under restrictions again. I’m not sure what will happen here with the rise of the Delta variant. You gave such good advice. It’s hard to let go of resentment, but it’s harder in the long run to hang on to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This post is so timely and full of words we all need to heed. Our current state of being is difficult! But, it is so very livable and your words show us how to live. Thank you so much for linking up. Stay safe!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. From the beginning I have seen covid as a foreign thing that needed to be conquered without fear, and with waiting and trusting in God he would help me through this. Coming closer to him in prayer and dedication has been the result of it, so I see the good things that have come out of me – as a result. But lockdown is dreadful, or rather boring, since it limits our lives to where we can’t go. Again a reason to knock on heaven’s door about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Bitterness is a powerful feeling that can ruin so much in our lives. This is an excellent post and thank you for sharing/linking it up. Have a great week ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

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