Family · Inspirational · Psychology · Relationships · Spirituality · Travel

Letting go of Resentment

Welcome my friend! We’re going to have to enjoy a lovely cuppa by the virtual waterfront today as we’re in lock down here.

The insidious, highly virulent Delta variant of CoVid has silently invaded our community & schools.

Where it has now set it’s sights on the younger generation!

Our whole region has been sent into a snap lock down… again!

One could feel very resentful of this pandemic!

A pandemic that has us constantly living in a reality similar to a Sci-fi movie with its first, second & third waves of an alien force!

A force that we can’t see but keeps morphing into an increasingly stronger foe pushing back against all our lines of defence!

A force that has indelibly changed our lives.

Let’s make this personal;

All the children, teachers, staff & their families in these schools threatened by this invasion are now in 14 days of isolation/quarantine including five of my family members!

My granddaughter’s wedding is in a few weeks but we are locked out of her state because of Delta!

And the long awaited visit with my grandson’s who also live in that state is now postponed until…I have no idea!

It is a of great concern when this foe is threatening our families!

And it’s really emotionally painful when we miss out on precious family time & events.

Yes, I could get very resentful indeed! But…

Resentment leads to a darker side of life

Being a Clinical Counsellor I have crossed paths with many people who were resentful.

It may have been resentment from a current or past hurt, maybe from a soured relationship or a traumatic event (including a pandemic).

Whatever the cause, life from that point is only viewed through a dark lens of resentment.

In other words everything gets filtered through that hurt, shading life in a negative veil of emotional pain.

This not only greatly impacts one’s quality of life but also the lives of others!

Let’s look at what living in resentment does…

Living in Resentment

Maybe someone or something really hurt us. Which caused deep emotional pain.

This emotional pain may even have been truly traumatizing.

But here’s the problem with holding onto emotional pain…it binds us to that hurt or the person who hurt us!

And it will continue to bind us to that traumatic event & time period until we release it. 

Resentment holds us captive!

And all our relationships will be tainted by that resentful attitude.

Because when resentment is held it doesn’t stagnate it morphs, just like CoVid has morphed into a stronger variant.

Resentment morphs 

Resentment morphs into bitterness.

“…Stephen Diamond, Ph.D., defines bitterness as;

 “a chronic and pervasive state of smoldering resentment,” and regards it as “one of the most destructive and toxic of human emotions.”

If we repeatedly ruminate over how we’ve been victimized, “nursing” wrongs may eventually come to define some essential part of who we are.

Take hold of our very personality. We’ll end up becoming victims not so much of anyone [or anything] else but of ourselves.” Ref

Bitterness is one of the most destructive & toxic human emotions. 

red lens sunglasses on sand near sea at sunset selective focus photography

Bitterness can become so entrenched that as Dr Diamond states above it will take hold of that person’s very personality…they end up becoming victims not so much of anyone else but of themselves!

The need to let go

If you see yourself here as the One who has held onto hurt, no matter how big or small & know its morphing or already has morphed into toxic resentment.

Then its time to let go my friend. And there’s no time like the present.

And before you think,

‘Jennifer you don’t know what you’re asking’,

I can tell you my friend that I have been at the cross roads of choosing to hold on to hurt/pain or release it many times throughout my life. More shared here in Forgiving the Unthinkable

But each time I stood at that cross roads, I came to the realisation that one road led to the death of me as a person & the other led to life!

How to let go

The way that really works is;

Go to a place where you can be alone.

Next have a chat with our Heavenly Father in Prayer.

Share with Him your emotional pain & resentment over what’s troubling or hurting you.

Write down that pain on a piece of paper & then burn that paper, as a physical symbol that you have truly released it to the Lord.

Then allow the Holy Spirit to fill the space where that hurt previously occupied with His supernatural peace.

For we are implored to,

“Let all bitterness, anger, rage, bad temper, resentment, quarreling & malice of any kind be released… becoming kind, tender hearted, compassionate,  understanding,  forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.”

Ephesians 5: 31-32

This is our fourth post in the Hidden Series.

Until next time,


You’re welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

© 2021 Jennifer M. Ross, All Rights Reserved. Photo by Nitin Dhumal on

Featured at Lauren Sparks & Lisa Notes Grace & Truth Link Up

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35 thoughts on “Letting go of Resentment

  1. Bitterness is a powerful feeling that can ruin so much in our lives. This is an excellent post and thank you for sharing/linking it up. Have a great week ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. From the beginning I have seen covid as a foreign thing that needed to be conquered without fear, and with waiting and trusting in God he would help me through this. Coming closer to him in prayer and dedication has been the result of it, so I see the good things that have come out of me – as a result. But lockdown is dreadful, or rather boring, since it limits our lives to where we can’t go. Again a reason to knock on heaven’s door about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This post is so timely and full of words we all need to heed. Our current state of being is difficult! But, it is so very livable and your words show us how to live. Thank you so much for linking up. Stay safe!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s so hard to be under restrictions again. I’m not sure what will happen here with the rise of the Delta variant. You gave such good advice. It’s hard to let go of resentment, but it’s harder in the long run to hang on to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh, this is so good, Jennifer! It’s so easy to let little resentments grow and take hold of our thoughts and emotions. I did this with my mother-in-law for years. It took a lot of prayer and journaling to break free from the grip of bitterness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Anita!
      Resentment & bitterness are so insidious once they take hold… aren’t they!
      But I’m delighted you chose to take the steps to break free & put in the hard work to get there! Bless you 😀


  6. So true about resentment and bitterness: at best it’s a ball and chain, at worst it can infect your whole being like a cancer. People are frightened about Covid, and governments are not handling it well either. My weakness for resentment is those personal slights and perceived “micro-aggressions”. I have to imagine myself physically handing them over to the Lord.

    Great writing! Visiting from Lisa Notes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you David, you have highlighted an important issue that I think we can all have at times.
      The perceived ‘micro-aggressions,’ whether intentional or not, from others that we may take as personal affronts.

      However, you’re strategy is the right course of action, we need to hand them over to the Lord or they will build into a ‘macro’ resentment & gradually morph into bitterness.
      Lovely having you drop by today 😀


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