I feel judged…

Hi! How lovely of you to drop by!

The above statement, ‘I feel judged’ is voiced by most of us at some point in our lives.

Which sparks rather passionate reactions, so I thought we would explore this topic in our time of reflection today.

I have my cuppa ready, do you have yours?

Mine is a strawberry sensation tea blend & I thought a salted caramel nut slice would be a perfect accompaniment.

It has become absolutely freezing here in this part of Australia, it seems winter has sent us an icy blast from the Antarctic!

So, today we are sitting indoors, cozy & warm while the rain & wind rage outside.

Judging

The definition of judging; is to form an opinion or conclusion about something or someone.

Have you ever judged something or someone?

I believe we all make judgements on a daily basis.

Forming opinions & conclusions on many things in life.

Some would do this in their work by making judgements on safety issues, work schedules, purchasing, hiring & firing staff by judging their qualifications, experience & capacity for the job at hand.

Judiciary make judgements on criminal behavior & the risk this behavior poses to the wider community.

Placing those who are deemed to pose the greatest threat in incarceration for the safety of the community.

In my professional life, there have been times I’ve had to work with those who posed a threat to my personal safety with their aggressive & challenging behaviors.

I too had to make quick risk assessments on the danger I was in coming to a quick conclusion on the situation making a calculated judgement.

Necessary judgements

However, these types of judgements are necessary for our society to be able to function in a safe, balanced & cohesive manner.

So, this brings us to the title of our reflection today…

   “I feel judged…”

This feeling may come from either a perceived or real judgement towards us personally. 

A judgement that quite often lacks knowledge, understanding & empathy for our personal circumstances from the one standing in judgement.

The process 

Let’s have a look at the cognitive & emotional processes that we go through to come to an opinion (judgement).

We draw upon many things including our core values, our life experience, the familial culture we grew up in, personal preferences, levels of awareness & education on the issue, our personal belief system of faith, our cultural norms, practices & bias.

Then added to this mix will be our emotional response to the issues at hand.

Once this process is completed a conclusion is arrived at, also known as a judgement!

However, this can be short circuited if our emotional response instantly jumps to the forefront blocking out the cognitive processing, giving an emotive judgement which does not produce the wisest of conclusions!

I too have been judged in my life, many times in fact.

So, I am well aware just how deeply it can hurt.

To be misunderstood or thought of as being different to who we actually are, has a certain sting to it.

However, as I have pondered & reflected upon this, approaching it from a different perspective.

It goes with the territory when you’re a therapist & one of the therapies in your therapy kit is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

Let me pose the following question;

If we feel judged, are we not in turn judging?

It’s a rather interesting & thought provoking question, don’t you think?

It gives an interesting perspective to the following wisdom,

 “…why do you look at the speck that is in another’s eye,

but don’t notice the log that’s in your own eye?” Jesus said.

Matthew 7: 3

When we experience an Ouch! That hurt!  moment. It’s always worthwhile to reflect upon the reason behind the way we’re feeling.

Until next time dear friend…

Jennifer

You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

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© 2019, Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photos by Pexels.com

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