We see this portrayed in the media & advertising at this time of the year, don’t we? But have you ever stopped & wondered why we desire the perfect family Christmas?

We’ll be discussing this today because I think it’s an important topic to address, especially at this time of the year when so many are trying to attain this as seen on Social Media, movies & advertising.

But first let’s grab a cuppa, a treat & get comfy. Today I’m having half a slice of gf healthy Almond, Banana & Blueberry bread with a mug of Earl Grey tea.

Now we’re comfy let’s begin…

The Push

The idea of the perfect family Christmas was originally coined when Queen Victoria adopted the tradition, especially that of a Christmas tree with gifts under the tree for her children, (having seen a Conifer decorated in Europe) & the accompanying Christmas dinner scene.

This “perfectly” portrayed scene picked up momentum throughout the twentieth century by the commercial world.

But we need to remember a few things about that first scene,

• The Queen had many servants who did all the work behind the scenes.
• She had plenty of resources to fund it!
• She also had full time childcare Nurses (Nannies) who raised the children.

And history tells us that not all was perfect behind that perfectly staged scene of the family, just like other families.

What I’ve noticed though that in most representations of the “Perfect Family Christmas” there is always a push to sell a product either overtly or covertly that purportedly will give you the ‘perfect Christmas’ that they’re portraying. 

And sadly there’s a whole field of psychology behind these commercial enterprises, ads & movies that tap into the desire of the perfect Christmas gathering with our families.

But be aware, be very aware

However, I can tell you now as a professional Clinical Counsellor, with decades of experience, that products will not give you the perfect family Christmas. Why?

Because families are made up of imperfect people with imperfect personalities & temperaments.

Oh you may have the perfect table setting with the perfect feast prepared, you may have the most wonderful Christmas tree with generous gifts for all.

But expectations of the “Perfect Christmas” will be unique to each person, there will always be someone who isn’t as happy as you may think.

I’ve counselled  so many people over the decades who have chased this ideology only to end up with much heartache. For this time of the year raises many unresolved & often unaddressed issues within families.

In fact, sadly this time of the year has the highest incidence of domestic violence & suicide than at any other time of the year & that’s across the whole of the western world!

Which just gives a little insight into just how much pressure & stress this ideal can be for so many people. And the pain that results from unmet ideals.

You see people are individuals & in that they will have their own perspective on situations, issues & incidences that have happened in the family.

What one sees as not a problem another will view as problematic, often carrying a deep hurt or even unforgiveness from that time. And other family members may have no idea this has happened until tensions bubble to the surface or they simply refuse to join family gatherings or may even cut themselves off completely from the family.

This is a painful fact for many Mums, Dads & grandparents out there. There are also adult children who have become estranged from their family, not through their own choosing, but because the family have excluded them for whatever reason.

I shared more in;

Dealing with Family Estrangements

So what can be done?

I believe its best not to have the ideal of the “perfect family Christmas”. But instead focus & enjoy the real reason for this season.

And that’s celebrating the fact that Jesus Christ (the Messiah) came to establish a whole New Covenant with mankind two millennial ago & will return as promised.

For He said;

“I have come as Light into the world, so that whoever believes in Me [as Savior—all those who anchor their hope in Me and rely on the truth of My message] will not continue to live in darkness.”

John 12:46 AMP

And let Christmas day be whatever it turns out to be, praising Him for His love & grace.  Enjoying the time with whomever chooses to join in, in all of it’s imperfection.

Because it was never about the “Perfect Family Christmas” anyway, it was always about Jesus!

Until next time,

Jennifer

You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

or in Prayer

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© 2024 Jennifer M. Ross, All Rights Reserved. Photo by Nicole Michalou on pexels.com

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