Welcome, today I thought we would reflect upon an important topic that has far reaching roots into our everyday life, Confidence.

But before we do let’s grab a cuppa, a treat & get comfy.

It’s a lot cooler here now, which is a lovely change from the heat wave that the last days of Summer threw at us.

Autumn is definitely in the air here on the East coast of Australia. A season I enjoy as it’s a time to begin to wind down & prepare for the season of waiting, Winter.

What can impact our perception of confidence?

Recently, I watched a ‘reality’ program where men & women were starting out in newly arranged marriages. With the series following their relationships for a period of time.

However, in one particular relationship the husband had not been as invested in the relationship as his wife, in fact he was observed to be overtly Gaslighting her in their marriage.

Which had caused her to question her abilities, confidence & even her own sanity.

For those who are unfamiliar with the term Gaslighting;

“Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves.

They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity. Over time, a gaslighter’s manipulations can grow more complex and potent, making it increasingly difficult for the victim to see the truth.” Ref

With the help of professional Counsellors this lady finally came to see what this man was doing & that he had no intention of changing, thus for her safety the relationship ended.

However, within the same program another couple’s relationship also is seen to have Gaslighting but this husband is far more subtle & insidious.

And sadly although this woman’s friends are wildly waving red flags about his behaviour she refuses to see or accept their warnings.

The last scene in a recent episode is her saying she feels like she’s losing her mind! Hmmm….

The confidence to read & discern the world around us is very important!

To navigate this world we need a certain amount of confidence to be able to discern the circumstances & relationships around us.

Otherwise we put ourselves in extremely dangerous situations that not only affect our emotional wellbeing but also our physical safety.

If you join me here often you’ll know that Human Behaviour has not only been an interest of mine but also my profession for well over four decades (now retired). I’m always interested in why people act & behave the way they do & that continues to this day.

Granted these programs can be problematic in placing people in front of cameras. Because they put people under an enormous amount of pressure within a limited time frame which in itself can provoke certain behaviours.

However, these programs are also crucibles for revealing what lays beneath the surface of the participant’s natural cycles of behaviour when put under such pressure.

Many & varied reactions & behaviours can be observed, there are those who rise to the occasion & excel in their love & care towards their marriage partner & others.

While others reveal existing problematic behavioural cycles often resulting in abuse of their partner or others, such as Gaslighting, that need addressing.

If you feel you’re lacking confidence then please read my post How to restore lost Confidence.

There are none so blind as those who CHOOSE not to see…

Why does this wife refuse to see or acknowledge the red flags that her friends continue to wave wildly about her new husband?

Because she is choosing to see him through her own rose colored lenses in what she has always wanted in her life, thus accepting his explanations & excuses for his appalling behaviour & treatment of herself & others. Not acknowledging or seeing what others can see that she is being psychologically abused.

She is also displaying an over confidence in her own abilities, believing that her ability for discernment is far superior to her friends in discerning & judging his character.

This scenario was rather thought provoking & had me thinking the following; how often do we do this in our spiritual life?

How often do loved ones, friends or for that matter the Holy Spirit wave a red flag about a concern in our life that we choose not to acknowledge or see?

As Jesus said;

“… while [having the power of] seeing they do not see, and while [having the power of] hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand and grasp [spiritual things].”

Matthew 13: 13 AMP

You see at times we can desire something so much that we justify its presence in our life. It may be a relationship, a career or even a ministry position, a material item, wealth or an attitude (like unforgiveness).

However in the long run it will prove to be extremely toxic because it’s not God’s will for our life.

Over Confidence can be Haughtiness!

We need to ask ourselves;

Are we feeling so over confident in our ability to discern that we choose to ignore the red flags?

” Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

Ephesians 5:15-17 NIV

Until next time,

Jennifer

You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

Or in Prayer

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© 2024 Jennifer M. Ross, All Rights Reserved. Photo by Tatiana Syrikova on pexels

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