#Patience & Compassion

Today we are sitting out over the water at our little village’s Café on the marina. It’s a beautiful Spring day.

I can hear the gentle lapping of the water under my feet & the squawking of the seagulls in the background, it isn’t busy at this time of the morning, so it’s quiet & relaxing.

I’ve found a table for us in the sunshine looking out over the bay. Shall we begin our time of reflection together my friend?

Understanding helps…

In my days as the Regional Clinical Counsellor I was often called upon to speak at Professional Conferences, Seminars or in High Schools to present simple strategies for effective communication.

There are several elements that need to work together for mutual understanding between people, especially in a group or team dynamic.

An example, all of us who use mobile phones have had the experience of the signal dropping in & out causing a disjointed conversation or a complete loss of signal which abruptly ends the call.

Similarly when one or more elements in effective communication are not functioning, like a dodgy mobile phone signal, we get disjointed perceptions, frustrated emotions or a complete breakdown in communication.

The Art of Communication 

And did you know that the art of communication also involves complex high order cognitive (thought) processing? Which draws upon high levels of energy from the body’s storehouse.

Since having Fibromyalgia (FM) I have struggled with energy levels (fatigue) which unfortunately is part of this condition.

Combine this with the malady of what is known as Brain Fog aka “Fibro fog,” which is a brain malaise that interrupts quick & effective cognitive (thought) processing, especially in the expression of language (we can’t find the words we want or we lose track of a conversation).

Just like a bad mobile signal, fibro fog disrupts our ability to communicate.

Personal Experience

Would you believe my first experience of Fibro Fog was actually in the middle of one of those Seminars on Strategies for Effective Communication! 

Where I was the main Speaker with a hundred Deputy School Principals looking at me for direction! The irony was not lost on me!

The Brain Fog suddenly hit me out of the blue, just as I was getting ready to give them instructions to break into small groups for a practical exercise.

My mind went completely blank there was absolutely nothing, I couldn’t find any of my words! I was like a rabbit caught in a spot light…with a hundred pairs of eyes looking at me with quizzical & expectant expressions.

I did manage to get my coworker to take over for me preserving some dignity but from that day brain fog has come & gone depending on the flare cycles of Fibromyalgia.

Sadly, Brain Fog isn’t a malady that affects just those with Fibromyalgia either, it’s a malady that impacts many who live with other Chronic conditions.

Why does this happen?

Well, it’s all about energy levels within the body. I’ve broken it down in percentages for you in the following examples.

A healthy body’s distribution of energy is balanced in;

  • 30% is for maintaining normal body systems +
  • 30% is for working life +
  • 30% is for socialization, relationships & emotions +
  • 10% reserve

          = 100% 

However, a chronically ill body’s energy distribution is unbalanced with;

  • 75% used just to keep dysfunctioning body systems functioning +
  • 25% is for work, relationships, socialization & emotions +
  •    0% energy reserve

           = 100% 

You can see why it’s very difficult for those who live with chronic health conditions to try & ‘keep up’ with those who are healthy.

And why our poor old brains suffer Brain Fog at times, as there just isn’t enough energy for it to function to its optimum.

How to deal with this Malady

To the Healthy

First & foremost, be kind to those who are struggling with Brain Fog. They are not losing their minds & they don’t have Dementia they just need a little understanding & patience as it will pass in time.

Please don’t try & think for them as it will only increase their brain fog (it will place unnecessary pressure on them to perform in the moment causing anxiety).

To those with Brain Fog

Be kind to yourself, the more anxious or frustrated you get the worse it will become as your brain will simply shut down due to an emotional overload.

Realise you’re doing your very best in listening to your body.  Rest when you need to, have activity when you need & do not become bound by other’s expectations.

If you can’t do it on the day then postpone it until you can, there’s no shame in being honest my friend!

Tell others that you’re in a flare & that brain fog is problematic for you at the moment & you’ll catch up with them another time.

As pushing yourself to be there will only result in a worsening of symptoms.

And remember;

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.” Psalm 28:7

Well, the Café is much busier now & our lattes are finished, so it’s time for us to go.

Until next time,

Jennifer

You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

Or in Prayer


© 2023 Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved.  Photo by  Arthouse Studio on Pexels.com 

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26 thoughts on “#Patience & Compassion

  1. EsmeSalon's avatar EsmeSalon

    Your compassion and sharing here on your blog is awesome, Please keep it up. I love visiting you and reading your posts. I may not always leave a note but know that I read many and will continue to read your posts.
    Thank you for sharing your links with us at #283 SSPS Linky. See you again next week.

  2. oh this is so helpful, Jennifer. i’ve been hit with brain fog more as I get older, particularly during times of extended grief. giving grace to ourselves and telling those closest to us helps so much. taking the pressure off to perform and just accepting where we are are soothing remedies.

  3. Joanne Viola's avatar Joanne Viola

    Jennifer, as always you have shared such useful information. I am so sorry for the journey you find yourself but am most grateful you are using it to help others. I never realized the distribution of energy our bodies require to function and perform tasks. This was most eye opening. May we be kind and compassionate to those around us and ourselves as well.

  4. Jennifer, I never realized all the energy a body draws on to communicate effectively. I so appreciate this post, as it gives me a greater perspective and understanding about communicating and brain fog.

  5. Dee | GrammysGrid.com's avatar Dee | GrammysGrid.com

    Oh, gosh. I know all too well about brain fog. It is so frustrating. Thanks so much for linking up at the #UnlimitedLinkParty 134. Pinned.

  6. Brain Fog is definitely a real thing. Those who have to suffer with it often definitely need kindness and grace, not impatience or judgment. None of us are inside other people’s brains; we don’t know what it feels like to be them. I have had Brain Fog periodically in times of deep grief, and it’s not easy. Blessings to you, Jennifer, for sharing your struggles with it here. It informs us all.

  7. Jennifer, the place you described sounds so lovely, I would have loved to join you. This was a very informative post about a subject I knew little about. Thank you so much, sweet friend!

  8. Thank you, Jennifer for your compassionate post today. My husband often struggles with brain fog coupled with anxiety surrounding his chronic pain. It is so important to extend patience coupled with compassion!

    1. You’re most welcome Donna. I’m saddened to hear that your husband is also travelling on the chronic pain path. There’s a grief that accompanies is on that journey, not only for him but for you also.

      Please extend that patience & compassion to yourself as well, remembering to be kind to yourself sweet friend.

  9. Oh, that sounds so peaceful. I’d love to sit with you at that table, Jennifer. 🙂 Thank you for your compassion and understanding of the low energy reserves with chronic illness. You make me feel less alone. Love and blessings to you!

    1. You’re always welcome at my table Trudy. 😊 It’s a beautiful setting down there on the marina.

      You’re most welcome my friend, chronic illness is a difficult journey to travel but one we are not alone on (although it can feel like that at times) for we have an amazing travelling companion, God Himself & each other. 😉 💝

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