“Have you heard the latest Goss?”

Welcome my friend! Come on while we explore the above question. The translation of the above is; What is the latest gossip (aka information)? Have you ever thought about ‘gossip’ & wondered what it actually entails? I have been pondering this of late as I heard the above question/statement on a program the other day.

And I’ve observed that Gossip is a concept that often has a great deal of confusion around it, so let’s explore…

But before we do let’s grab our mugs, a treat & get comfy. I’m having a Russian Caravan tea blend today & a slice of home baked gf Orange Almond loaf. What’s yours?

What is Gossiping anyway?

When you type this question into a search engine, various definitions & meanings appear. There’s the dictionary definition, the Sociological definition & the biblical definition.

And one thing they all have in common is that actual gossip contains Slander.

So let’s look at the definition of Slander before we go any further. Slander is;

  • By the dictionaries definition, an untrue spoken statement about someone that damages their reputation.
  • The Sociological definition of gossiping, is that a judgement has been attached to the information or statement that is slanderous.

And the Biblical definition is:

“You shall not testify falsely [that is, lie, withhold, or manipulate the truth] against your neighbor (any person).” Exodus 20:16 AMP

So we can see from the above definitions & meanings that slander is very damaging not only to the person who is being slandered but to the person who is doing the slandering!

One thing I’ve continually observed over the decades in being a Behavioural Therapist (aka Clinical Counsellor) is that people are fascinated by other people’s lives & love to share the information they know about them. 

So it begs the question here; is all sharing of information about other’s, “gossiping”?

The short answer is that it entirely depends on the motive behind the “sharing” & what is being shared.

An example of this arose when I was chatting with someone about their recent medical diagnosis, which is quite serious. I asked if they would like me to share some of this information in a prayer request to the Ladies Prayer groups that I am a part & exactly what they were comfortable in me sharing.

I highlighted that I didn’t need to use their name if they wanted to stay anonymous.

You see I always ask permission to share any information, especially for prayer requests, to respect boundaries & so I’m not divulging anything the person concerned is not comfortable for me to share. As inadvertently prayer requests can be a source of breaking confidences, if we’re not mindful & respectful of people’s boundaries.

It’s the same if anyone shares with me about their life or the lives they’re connected to, before we leave that conversation I always clarify whether this information is confidential or not, so that the boundaries are very clear.

You see not everyone states whether certain things they’re sharing are confidential but in their mind it is, so make sure you have a very clear picture.

Although from professional experience I know that certain information that may come to light may be critical to share if it contains a potential danger for someone.

If what has been shared does contain an immanent danger & the sharer wants to keep it confidential or secret, you need to call them out on this, as any information that comes to light of a dangerous situation needs to be shared with;

  • the person who may be in danger!
  • & the appropriate authorities!

Let’s make this personal…

Being the Matriarch of a large combined family, keeping confidences is crucial for family harmony. And what must be considered when various members come to me or conversely each other, out of concern for any particular member of the family, is that it doesn’t quickly turn into a judgement or slander ~ aka gossip!

So to clarify; is sharing any information about someone else Gossiping?

The short answer is..No.

It entirely depends on the motive behind sharing & what is being said.

The following are helpful questions to ask ourselves before we share any information about another;

  • What is our motive for sharing?
  • Are we about to break a confidence?
  • Will it actually tip over into slanderous gossip because the facts have been changed (even slightly makes it an untruth) or judgement attached?
  • And does it really need to be shared in the first place?

Examples of sharing without gossiping (untrue slander)…

If we look in the New Testament we see many examples of the sharing about different people, in fact the Apostle Paul often shared in his letters to the churches about various people he had stayed with or knew in his travels in how they were & what they were doing. An example;

 I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon of the church in Cenchreae. I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of his people and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been the benefactor of many people, including me.

Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus. They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. Romans 16: 1-4 NIV

He also gave warnings about certain people who had caused trouble on his travels & even fellow believers who had veered away from the truth, the consequences of their actions in the various fellowships & provinces. And stated how he’d handled these particular challenges.

So sharing this type of information, if factual & handled in the correct manner isn’t gossiping. As Paul was stating truth so that others would not fall into the same devisive practices as we see in the following;

11 Now when Cephas (Peter) came to Antioch, I opposed him face to face [about his conduct there], because he stood condemned [by his own actions]. 12 Before certain men came from James, he used to eat [his meals] with the Gentiles; but when the men [from Jerusalem] arrived, he began to withdraw and separate himself [from the Gentile believers], because he was afraid of those from the circumcision. 

13 The rest of the Jews joined him in this hypocrisy [ignoring their knowledge that Jewish and Gentile Christians were united, under the new covenant, into one faith], with the result that even Barnabas was carried away by their hypocrisy. Galatians 2: 11 -13 AMP

So then, may we always be mindful of the words we speak & the information we share with & of others.

Until next time,

Jennifer

You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook

or in Prayer


© 2025 Jennifer M. Ross, All Rights Reserved. Photo by Cup of Couple at pexels.com

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18 thoughts on ““Have you heard the latest Goss?”

  1. In my journalism days, there was a huge difference between “dishing the dirt” publications and “just the facts” delivered to a readership wanting to keep up on business, national, state, and local doings that affected the readership. Today, news gathering sounds more like a “dishing the dirt” publication whether it’s true or not. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” ~ Proverbs 18:21 Thank you for your break-down of gossip slander vs information – Discernment is a necessary tool needed when deciding to use either.

  2. Joanne Viola's avatar Joanne Viola

    Jennifer, this is excellent. You have provided such wonderful clarification on this topic. Like you, I always ask if I can share something which has been told to me and I mention who I would share it with. Keeping a confidence is most important to me as breaking a confidence can wound deeply. You provided wonderful questions to ask ourselves when in conversation. It is the last one which I want to always remember: “And does it really need to be shared in the first place?” That one question will truly keep us from saying anything we shouldn’t. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

  3. This is helpful, Jennifer. I’ve been talking with a friend about a 3rd friend that we’ve been concerned about. I sometimes wonder if we’re just gossiping, but we are both deeply baffled at how to help our mutual friend and need to talk with each other to help us figure things out. Your words here help me alleviate unnecessary guilt about our discussions.

  4. Oh Jennifer, this is so good and the questions you’ve put on the table so clarifying and helpful. When we’re not sure, we might as well keep our mouths closed and take our observations and concerns straight to the One who knows the intent of our hearts and is perfectly able to do something about the situation.

    1. Thank you Linda, I always appreciate your encouraging comments my friend.

      I think so often in our western societies many are afraid of silences in conversations & fill it with words that should not have been spoken…

  5. strengthwithdignity's avatar strengthwithdignity

    Asking people if you are free to share and the amount to be shared is crucial, Jennifer, if we are to remain a confidant in good standing. Likewise, knowing who can keep confidence or not is key to whom and how much we share with someone. A great post on gossip, slander, and walking in wisdom with others.

  6. Jennifer, gossip is so harmful to others and to our own hearts. As always, thank you for your wise counsel from God’s Word. Wishing you a wonderful weekend, my friend!

    1. Thank you sweet friend. It’s Valentine’s Day here as I write, hubby & I have just had a lovely breakfast together & will have a romantic walk along the waterfront this afternoon, when it cools down, as it’s forecast for a rather hot sultry day today…☺️

    1. I’ve noticed a great deal of confusion around what gossiping & slander actually are, so I thought a little clarification was needed. I really appreciate your encouraging words my friend. Thank you! 😊 Blessings to you too! 💕

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