Hi, welcome my friend to a time of tea & reflection together.
As I write this on the East Coast of Australia it’s a Wintery cold day, although the Sun is shining, there’s a cold wind blasting up from the Antarctic & it’s freezing! So we’ll enjoy our time indoors today.
Let’s grab our cuppa’s, a treat & get comfy. I’m enjoying a slice of home baked gf Banana & Apple Bread with a cup of Lady Grey Tea.
We always have certain expectations placed upon us as responsible members of society…don’t we?
But I’m sure we’re all familiar with people who place their ideal expectations upon us & then demand we fill those expectations to meet their needs.
So, I thought we would explore this topic today.
What are Expectations?
Let’s look at the following definitions before we continue, for expectations always come with an ‘Ideal tag’ attached.
Expectation means;
‘the feeling or belief that something will or should happen…’
Ideal means;
‘…implies perfection in reality or concept’
Expectations are interesting, aren’t they?
We often have expectations within relationships, society & even of ourselves. The problem with expectations are that they’re constructed from our perceptions.
For Expectations involve a mixture of core beliefs, hopes, imaginings & past experience. We combine these, to have an anticipated imagined outcome.
However, this can put undue pressure & stress on the focus of our expectation. Giving an unrealistic level of expectancy which often results in hurt & disappointment.
Leading to unfair judgements against whoever has not meet that expectation.
To be fair there may be many circumstances surrounding unmet expectations in any relationship. For example an individual may not be able to meet an expectation because of their circumstances in life or it’s simply beyond their capacity, in their present situation.
While it’s healthy to look forward to spending time with family & friends, it’s very unhealthy to have certain expectations of them.
Because those expectations have been constructed by our own imaginings &/or needs.
Let your Yes be Yes & your No be No…
There may come a time when someone’s expectation of you turns into a demand that we can not or should not meet.
A demand is…an insistent & preempted request as a right.
This is the time we need to pause, pray & seek God’s wisdom. We also need to wisely consider our personal capacity, responsibilities & commitments in our season of life.
If we cannot meet such demands then we need to say…a kindly No.
And you know what? We actually don’t need to give an explanation or an excuse as to why we can not meet those demands. Although, in western society we have been conditioned to do so. And we have all been caught up in this, myself included!
However, Jesus advised;
“…let your statement be, ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, anything more than that comes from the evil one.”
Matthew 5: 37
Conversely we also need to respect our family & friends when they say No.
Until next time,
Jennifer
You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook
Or in Prayer
© 2024 Jennifer M. Ross, All Rights Reserved. Photo by Michaela St on pexels.com
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This is great food for thought Jen. I haven’t thought about expectations in a long while. Pausing to reflect today.
Thanks’ so much for sharing with Sweet Tea & Friend’s this month dear friend. I’m so happy your here.
Thank you Paula 😊
Usually it’s our expectations that bring the disappointment in ourselves and others. Even the expectations I place on myself are, at times, unrealistic. When my boys were young, I always had expectations of dinners or holidays to go, what we called, Walton’s style, after the tv show. The Walton’s always had the family around the dinner table or gathered nicely around the living room. My own expectation set me up for failure every time. Now, as a grandparent, I can look back and see that I might have missed out on the joy of just having two amazing kids having fun, and I should have eased up on all of the expectations. 🙂 Great post! Have a wonderful weekend 🙂
Thank you Debbie. 😊
Yes, I’ve known many people who had a ‘Walton’s’ expectation of their family & their extended families. But alas that was set in a different time & season.
Every family is uniquely different, we can be grateful & celebrate that we have amazing families in all of their uniqueness. Blessings to you my friend…
Another needed dose of your tea and wisdom. Sometimes a “kindly no” is what our response has to be, or is needed. May we “allow God to meet their need when we can not.”
Thank you Joanne & Blessings to you sweet friend 😊
Expectations are such a tricky thing, both our own and others. I do so appreciate people who can give a straightforward yes or no; it helps us manage our expectations so much better!
I agree Lisa, I’m sure that’s why Jesus told us to let our yes be yes & our No be no. 😊
I had a long talk with a customer service person this morning who was very helpful and thanked me for my patience and good humor. When I asked him if he had any negative encounters he said “Sometimes we can’t deliver a result that meets their expectations.” I loved that calm summary.
I love that too Elizabeth!
These are such great thoughts to ponder, Jennifer. Although I would like to say that all my expectations are in Jesus, I know that I’ve been guilty of having unreasonable expectations of both myself and others. Thank God for His conviction that points me back to Him. And thank you for this very good reminder today. Warm Blessings to you in your chilly winter days there!
Thank you sweet friend, yes Jesus never let’s us down & I love your expectation focus Bettie ~ Jesus.
May we all keep our eyes upon Him & in the words of the old hymn;
‘& the things of this Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace.’
Blessings! 🤗