Welcome! I thought we might tackle an emotion that isn’t often discussed today but none the less is very much alive & well in our modern world. Today we are reflecting upon the Green eyed monster of envy.
To begin, let us have a lovely cuppa together, I thought I would try a new blend I was given recently it’s an Australian black tea with little blue flower petals, lavender & bergamot…I have a gf Apricot slice as an accompanying treat for our time of tea & reflection. What is your choice today dear friend?
As it’s a beautiful sunny autumn day here in Australia, I thought sitting out in the sun overlooking our front garden would be lovely…Now we have our cuppa & treats shall we chat about the topic of our reflection…
FOMO v JOMO
I recently came across an article that was titled FOMO, I thought what on earth is that…on reading the article I learned that it’s, a not so new, acronym coined for certain social media behavior & means the Fear Of Missing Out! This held my professional interest of course…
It relates to those who avidly follow others through social media & become envious, fearful, anxious & ultimately depressed that they are missing out & not able to live up to the standard of other’s lives.
Examples may include;
- Seeing a friend with their newly purchased home…when the watcher is struggling to pay the rent.
- Viewing the relative who’s posting photos of their 28 day cruise to exotic destinations…when the viewer can’t afford a holiday.
- Reading the post of the old school friend’s beautiful relationship with their adult children & grandchildren…when the reader is estranged from theirs.
- Or the friend who’s having a romantic relationship posting it all over their page…when you have been single, divorced or widowed & alone for ages…the list could go on.
But you get the idea…
Fear Of Missing Out 》discontent 》envy 》anxiety 》depression
Then I came across JOMO, again that also attracted my attention…
JOMO is the Joy Of Missing Out which was coined in opposition to FOMO & means those who intentionally enjoy the moments of their life, who are not concerned with social media. Those who are not worried about what others have or are doing in their lives but rather are grateful for the life they are living & the blessings they have. With out having the need for comparison to other’s lives.
Joy Of Missing Out 》gratitude 》peacefulness 》serenity
Of course the feelings of discontent, envy & jealousy are not new, these have been around since our many times great grandparents decided they wanted more…believing the lie, that what they had wasn’t enough & they were missing out! Full story in Genesis 3
However in hindsight, we can see, they had everything they could have ever needed & then some… You see…each of us has a unique life to live!
If we believe all that is presented in the media, social or otherwise, we become side tracked by misleading & unbalanced images of life. That only highlight what those behind the scenes want us to see, never the entire picture of life.
Having been a clinical counselor for decades, I know that other’s lives are not necessarily what they appear or what they may present. There is always a social & cultural public face that is presented in all cultures & societies around the world.
Everyone has challenges in life, everyone will experience sadness, grief, heartache & pain, facing circumstances in life that will cause concern, worry & anxious times. Some will traverse horrific situations.
But many social media postings do not give private & intimate details of these challenging experiences. So what is left is a false impression that everyone’s life is far better & much more than…yours!
Let me personalize this…
Recently, I commented on a new friend’s blog, as they had just attained a great physical feat. And I was genuinely delighted for my new friend.
However, as I wrote out my comment & checked it before hitting the publish/comment button…I was shocked at my statement before me, it read… “I envy your energy…”. I deleted those words from the comment box but not so easily from my mind.
It stopped me in my tracks, as a clinical counselor & behavioral therapist I am fairly self aware, it goes with the territory. However this caught me by surprise. Hmmmm!
Time for a little personal reflection…
I had thought I was in the JOMO camp, thinking the following;
As a Fibromyalgia sufferer I could easily become envious of others who are walking in good health & don’t have pain as their daily companion but appear to have boundless energy & vitality in their life.
When I read fellow blogger’s adventures in climbing mountains, hiking trails, running marathons, walking interesting treks my heart could become discontent in comparison which could lead to envy. But I’m genuinely happy for them, no envy here.
But a little envy had crept in through FOMO in that moment…why?
I realized after some personal reflection, that this particular adventure had pressed a button, one that opened the door of a long held vision of being fit, healthy & active at this age.
Traversing walking trails & having fun adventures with my husband & family. That I just can not do with Fibromyalgia.
Then I realized…
This is counterproductive for my mental, emotional & spiritual health. I am living my best life within the challenges of chronic health conditions that I can possibly live. I know that without a doubt!
So I purposefully went to prayer & journaling…
Then I took the opportunity & chose to truly rejoice in my fellow blogger’s accomplishment & enjoyed their adventure anew.
As I traveled with them through their account again, I gained new energy & vitality through their joy, erasing the little green eyed monster.
As you can see I’m still a work in progress & believe one day I’ll be able to echo Paul’s experience in…
“…I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am…
Because
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. “
Philippians 4:11 & 13
So let me leave you with the following thoughts dear friend;
Are you walking in JOMO or is there a little hidden FOMO lurking giving that little green eyed monster the opportunity to jump out at you when you least expect it?
Until next time,
Jennifer
You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook
Or in Prayer
© 2019 Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog All rights Reserved. Photo on Pexels.com
Featured at Grace & Truth Linkup
Tea With Jennifer 
I LOVE the JOMO response to FOMO! I relish reading your posts and imagining myself sitting on a veranda sipping tea and enjoying the gorgeous scenery of Australia–one day, maybe I’ll get to visit for real! You minister to us from your porch. Thank you.
You’re welcome Anita, how delightful that would be to sit together with our cuppa’s & enjoy the scenery together 😀 just imagining it now 😉
Hello, I nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award http://seekingserenityandharmony.com/2019/04/30/the-sunshine-blogger-award-11-questions-and-11-nominees/
Thank you, I feel so very honored by your lovely nomination 😀
I’ve heard of FOMO but hadn’t heard of JOMO before! We do need to be careful with social media and realise that often people edit out the bad bits and only post what they want us to see. It doesn’t give a true picture of reality! I agree, jealousy can pop out sometimes even when we think we’ve dealt with it – it’s important to keep being aware.
Yes, keeping a check where we are at & short accounts is healthy 😉
Your story really moved me, Jennifer. Certain situations bring out the green-eyed monster in all of us, and too often we’re not even aware of it until after the fact. How cool that you caught yourself right before you hit send, and that you were able to take it all to the Lord. Such a great example for all of us!
Thank you Lisa, yes we need to be vigilant & aware where we’re at 😉 otherwise we can miss the blessings right in front of us.
I can relate to so much of what you’ve shared today, Jennifer! For one, I’ve got RA and a bum knee on top of it. So I often envy those who are more active than I can be–though I do my best with the restrictions I face. It is important to take those kinds of thoughts captive, though and find ways of capturing joy instead! Great post, my friend!
Its difficult when traveling on the old chronic health conditions road & we see those whizzing past much faster but focusing upon the blessings in our lives gives us joy. 😀
An important reminder and some reflective time needed Jennifer, thank you.
Reflection is always a great idea Marie, it helps us to process what’s going on in our lives 😀
Thanks for this, Jennifer. It’s a balancing act isn’t it? And one we can manage only by grace.
Absolutely Michele only by His grace:-D
I remember working with a woman who always bragged about her perfect marriage and perfect intimate life. I was very young at the time and was envious. Later, after her divorce, I learned that she had fabricated the whole thing! No more FOMO for me.
Yes, we don’t know what goes on behind the closed doors of a person’s life.
Especially with things like Facebook and Instagram continuing on the pretense of everyone doing well.
Great Post. Philippians 13 was the first verse I ever learned by memory. I have cherished this verse through every one of my struggles. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. “
Amen! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement & lovely having you drop by 😀
Dear Jennifer, your posts always call me to recognize areas in my spiritual life that I might want to overlook. Social media can be a monster if we allow it. I truly want to be content and live with JOMO. Thank you for your Godly counsel in your writings. Blessings❤️
A pleasure to share with you Pam, its doing the hard yards in these issues that we can come to recognize the dangers & encourage one another to beware of these pitfalls along the road in our spiritual journey ♥