Winds of Apprehension

As I was waiting near the waterfront the other day for hubby to pick me up, a sudden gust of wind nearly knocked me off my feet in its gale force strength! Interestingly, two gusts were blowing from opposing directions, first there was the nor westerly & then there was the southerly wind…One hot the other cold!

As I looked out across the bay the warmer nor westerly was blowing across the surface of the water whipping up thousands of white capped waves…churning the waters…

Churning Waters

Have you found that the Christmas season can be similar my friend!

With opposing winds of emotion blowing across the surface of our hearts, one full of warmth & the other much, much cooler!

Welcome! Would you like a hot cuppa? I’m having hot blueberry tea with some fresh Apple chips as a treat. What are you having?

Now we’re settled with our beverages I’ll let you in on a little secret…I’ve been struggling of late with…indecision!!

I know, I know…it’s not like me at all! I’m normally a very decisive gal!

You see the issue is;  juggling Christmas plans versus my unknown physical capacity on the day…

A little background for you….

Over the last several years our combined family have met for a BYO picnic dinner on Christmas Eve at the waterfront. With hubby providing his decadent home made treats of dessert for all (yes he’s an amazing candy & dessert cook!).

This Park has a large playground for our grandchildren to play in, a little Beach for those who want a swim (it’s hot Summer here) & has a cool sea breeze on hot sweltering days.

Plus with a BYO picnic no one person has to do all the cooking (for up to 28-30 of us some years!).

This plan has worked well over this time but in the last few years we have been buffeted by strong sea winds around dessert time which has made it somewhat unpleasant.

Changing Plans

So this year I’m thinking…just thinking mind well also desiring…to host Christmas Eve at our home with hubby & I providing both the dinner & dessert for everyone…

But…

It’s juggling my desire to provide a beautiful home cooked Christmas dinner versus my actual energy levels…

So the pros & cons start to blow in opposing directions, one all fuzzy & warm the other much, much cooler! Churning my emotions to white cap waves of indecision!

person riding on surfboard

These currents of apprehension eddy from living with the unpredictability of Fibromyalgia & not knowing how my physical self will be on any given day…

Do you experience indecision or apprehension at this time of the year my friend?

When, what you would love to gift your loved ones may not be practical or even physically possible on the day!

It may be that you are living great distances apart or living the distance of estrangement.

Maybe finances are stretched so tight that the dreamy Christmas you wanted for your family is fading, once again, into dreamland.

Maybe you’re so weary & overwhelmed at the moment that facing dramatic Aunt B or demanding cousin A is more then you can cope with (Christmas blues…may be helpful).

Maybe it’s chronic health issues that are unpredictable & keep you wondering if you will be able to go the distance during the season.

Oh, the winds of family pressures sure do buffet us at this time of the year…don’t they!

Or do they?

If I look at my conundrum objectively, these gusts are not coming from the direction of family but within my own desires & expectations of what I would like to gift them…

I need to be realistic! Maybe a rethinking of the expectations I have of myself while reflecting upon knowing your body’s capacity…

To bring the reality of what Christmas is truly about…Christmas time is celebrating…

The Ultimate Gift of Love…

God’s Love to all mankind through the Christ child ~ Jesus!

Sharing His Redeeming grace…

Stay tuned for a decisive plan of action!

Until next time,

Jennifer

 

 

Jennifer is a published author, discover more in The Book Nook

 

 

© 2019 Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog, All Rights Reserved. Photo on Pexels.com

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16 thoughts on “Winds of Apprehension

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  1. Jennifer, I think most of face trying to be everything to everyone during the Christmas Season. I used to entertain non-stop with couples’ dinners, my son’s birthday dinner, hosting my small group for finger foods, Christmas Day dinner. I decided I could no longer do it all, so I chose the most important…son’s birthday (we only have once child) and Christmas Day dinner with my immediate family! This has worked well for the past three years and those are my plans this year. I know you will make the right decision. Wishing you a most joyous Christmas Season.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Living on the other half of the hemisphere, it always takes me aback when people talk about warm weather for Christmas! Our local parade took place Saturday night, and this year we didn’t freeze, but we did get drenched walking back to our vehicles afterward! I almost think Christmas in the summer would be more difficult because during our dark winter days we have time to reflect on and anticipate the coming of Light.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, I often face the conundrum of which activities to do, which to avoid, which to plan, which to throw away, etc. There are so many options and expectations at Christmas. Praying for each of us to make wise decisions and live with no regret.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a beautiful and special family tradition! I can picture you all there for sure! It is hard to decide what to do for the holidays. I’m learning to hold the value of tradition a little looser so it doesn’t feel like obligation. This frees me up to say no to things (even if just for this year) to enjoy the season.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Rebecca! I began this to bring our two families together on Christmas Eve being a combined family.
      I give everyone the freedom to join us or not..as I know everyone has pressures at this time of the year, as you mention saying no can be the wisest choice at times 😉

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  5. Life has been busy and I am late in reading this, but I think you are so on point with all this. As you know (I think) my husband has had back issues that escalated when two compressor fractions occurred in early November in L3 and L4. I sprained my dominant shoulder during that time and things slowed to a halt with Christmas preparations between inability and doctor’s appointments. Both children and their children were coming for the weekend before Christmas and since are 6 grandchildren are mostly adult or eat like one (our youngest grandson is 15, but 6 feet tall), I was trying to sort out how to manage.

    I threw out all my usually plans with nice dishes and everything homemade and are up with a new plan where I made much of the food, but also ordered some things delivered to our door hot just before the meal AND I chose beautiful Christmas paper plates and napkins to match. It actually was a big help and I got to spend more time with the family and less in the kitchen and the whole family thought it was a great idea!

    Sometimes letting go of the idea of what it used to be or what we hoped resulted in something that was very good!

    Blessings to you. You and your country remain in my thoughts and prayers for safety.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So glad you found new joy in a time of inability Pam! Sometimes in the letting go that uncovers the blessings to be found ;-D
      I like your idea of Christmas paper plates! I think I’ll borrow that one for next year! 😉
      Thank you, we do indeed need prayer our country is burning. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

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