Hi, I thought we would reflect upon this important topic today as it has some interesting facts for us to contemplate.
Especially for those of us who have experienced life changing traumatic events.
First, let’s get our cuppa organized…today I thought a Japanese Apple blossom tea sounded exciting & as an accompaniment a yummy Coconut Ice bite.
The apple tea is lovely & the treat is scrumptious! Shall we begin our reflection together…
What does trauma mean?
Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience…or injury to the body.
However, I believe these are not necessarily mutually exclusive & the science confirms this!
A traumatic event can come to anyone of us, at any time, quite often hitting us from left field when we least expect it.
It comes with the harsh reality that life, as we knew it, will be forever changed.
Trauma may hit us initially through an emotional, physical or mental health situation.
But in whatever form it comes to us, it’s guaranteed to impact every aspect of our lives.
When the trauma is so severe or several traumatic events happen in succession of each other, not giving the mind & body time to process & recover then the condition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) may develop.
This can be a crippling mental health condition & needs professional support.
Why does life change through trauma?
Trauma affects the whole body, as mentioned above, in a way that is not widely acknowledged.
It has been found that the impact of trauma extends to the very micro level of our beings even placing little memory keys upon our DNA, through changing our epigenome.
These trauma memory keys lock or unlock little chemical markers on certain genes! Ref
However, were you aware that our subconscious mind retains memory markers too, even down to remembering the time of the year the trauma occurred?
Let me personalize this…
Recently, I have been feeling not quite myself... At first I put this down to this year’s events with the unexpected emergency… with my husband Steve & a medical emergency we recently had with my eldest daughter.
But as you may know, I find reflective journaling & prayer very useful when I feel a shift in my emotional wellbeing.
So…as I reflected upon how I had traveled emotionally within these events, I saw that while these events were traumatic & unsettling within themselves & collectively, they were not explaining the intensity of the shift in my emotions that I was experiencing.
I then had a lightbulb moment…
Realizing it’s that time of the year again!
My attention has been so focused upon the things of the present, which is normal & healthy, that I had not realized that time was approaching but my subconscious mind had & my spirit had reacted.
The reason…
This is the time of the year when my late husband Ed was diagnosed with brain cancer, called Glioblastoma Multiforme grade 4.
The symptoms & events leading to diagnosis, the emergency Medivac flight to Sydney, his urgent neurosurgery & resulting terminal prognosis was so traumatic for me that it has left an indelible mark upon my subconscious.
Which my spirit & body react to involuntarily at this time each year.
Though I have moved forward in the acceptance of his passing & continue healing in God’s love & grace…shared in Mending brokenness.
There is still the memory marker & this is a subconscious reaction.
You see we only had twelve weeks from his diagnosis to his death & while those twelve weeks were very, very precious they were also very traumatic.
Walking with your husband to heaven’s door through the progression of an aggressive brain tumor is excruciating.
One I could not have done nor survived without God’s strength, especially after having previously walked to heaven’s door with my daughter Candy & then my son Benjamin.
I do have beautiful memories of my marriage to my late husband & these are the ones I choose to focus upon when this wave of grief hits.
The happy memories of our life together which always brings a smile to my face.
Remembering those special times we had & the love of a sweet gentle man with amazing integrity.
Who treated me with such gentleness, respect & honor the entire time we were together, my cup overflowed!
Indeed such love & blessing will last a lifetime!
A word of Advice
I’m here to tell you dear friend that it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to have a few tears in remembrance of the good & painful times.
Whether your trauma memory is from the death of a loved one or from another traumatic event…
It’s okay to grieve!
This is a time in which we need to be very gentle & kind to ourselves allowing the wave of grief, whether in tears or in quiet meditative reflection, to flow over us.
For in time it will slowly ebb away. Releasing us to continue in our present season.
Until next time…
Jennifer
You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook
Or in Prayer
© 2019 Jennifer M. Ross, teawithjennifer.blog All Rights Reserved. Photo by Pixabay & Saya Kimura on Pexels.com
Tea With Jennifer 
Thank you for sharing about this. I learned a lot and we need to talk more about how things affect our emotional health.
You’re welcome Lauren! Yes, it’s important to acknowledge & process our emotions. ☺️
Hi Jennifer,
I am so sorry for the loss you’ve endured. You know a lot about grief.
If we don’t give ourselves time to grieve, our minds and bodies will require it of us. Thank you for these encouraging and tender words.
Peace and grace to you,
Tammy
Thank you Tammy, yes I have observed that us westerners aren’t comfortable with loss & grief at all.
We have a tendency to tuck/push it away.
But we were created emotional beings… Such strong emotions won’t stay away! Grieving is natural & okay.
Lovely having you drop by today 😀
Jennifer, thank you for your thoughts here. Such a tragic but beautiful story, it is a blessing to walk here with you. Thank you for the reminder that our trauma lives with us, as does our grief; and that’s totally OK. The longer we walk with these friends the softer we become, learning compassion for others and ourselves.
That we do Donna, I loved your following statement, “The longer we walk with these friends the softer we become, learning compassion for others and ourselves.” So true!
Thank you so much for sharing with such beauty and grace. I think so many of us are suffering with trauma and don’t even know what to call it, let alone what to do with it. Very often, we end up being harsh with ourselves and others who are suffering. Your wise words are much needed.
Thank you Helen. You have raised an important point, so many are suffering from trauma & haven’t acknowledged the pain they’re experienced. Healing can only begin with acknowledging & processing the pain of trauma. Bless you.
This is so true, Jennifer, “There is still the memory marker & this subconscious reaction.” I pray you continue to experience His loving arms about you as you grieve the loss of your precious husband (and son and daughter).
Thank you Lisa, I appreciate your prayers. ☺️
Hi! I found your blog through a Candidly Christian linkup 🙂 I really enjoyed this post, as it’s something I’ve thought about on occasion. Some very insightful stuff here, thank you for sharing! My Daddy passed away this past August and I don’t think I’ve actually even processed that yet.
Thank you Stacey Lynn! Dads are special people in our lives, you must be missing him terribly. It takes time to process loss & grief…so be kind to yourself. It can take awhile as it’s a very personal journey for each one of us. Bless you.
You’re welcome, and oh so right! ❤ Thank you.
What tragedy yet you share it with hope. I’m sorry for your immense losses.
Thank you Sarah, God’s love & promises give us amazing hope & that is where I dwell, being assured I will see my loved ones again in His presence 😀 bless you.