Welcome! I thought we might tackle an emotion that isn’t often discussed today but none the less is very much alive & well in our modern world. Today we are reflecting upon the Green eyed monster of envy.
To begin, let us have a lovely cuppa together, I thought I would try a new blend I was given recently it’s an Australian black tea with little blue flower petals, lavender & bergamot…I have a gf Apricot slice as an accompanying treat for our time of tea & reflection. What is your choice today dear friend?
As it’s a beautiful sunny autumn day here in Australia, I thought sitting out in the sun overlooking our front garden would be lovely…Now we have our cuppa & treats shall we chat about the topic of our reflection…
I recently came across an article that was titled FOMO, I thought what on earth is that…on reading the article I learned that it’s, a not so new, acronym coined for certain social media behavior & means the Fear Of Missing Out! This held my professional interest of course…
It relates to those who avidly follow others through social media & become envious, fearful, anxious & ultimately depressed that they are missing out & not able to live up to the standard of other’s lives.
Examples may include;
- Seeing a friend with their newly purchased home…when the watcher is struggling to pay the rent.
- Viewing the relative who’s posting photos of their 28 day cruise to exotic destinations…when the viewer can’t afford a holiday.
- Reading the post of the old school friend’s beautiful relationship with their adult children & grandchildren…when the reader is estranged from theirs.
- Or the friend who’s having a romantic relationship posting it all over their page…when you have been single, divorced or widowed & alone for ages…the list could go on.
But you get the idea…
Fear Of Missing Out 》discontent 》envy 》anxiety 》depression
Then I came across JOMO, again that also attracted my attention…
JOMO is the Joy Of Missing Out which was coined in opposition to FOMO & means those who intentionally enjoy the moments of their life, who are not concerned with social media. Those who are not worried about what others have or are doing in their lives but rather are grateful for the life they are living & the blessings they have. With out having the need for comparison to other’s lives.
Joy Of Missing Out 》gratitude 》peacefulness 》serenity
Of course the feelings of discontent, envy & jealousy are not new, these have been around since our many times great grandparents decided they wanted more…believing the lie, that what they had wasn’t enough & they were missing out! Full story in Genesis 3
However in hindsight, we can see, they had everything they could have ever needed & then some… You see…each of us has a unique life to live!
If we believe all that is presented in the media, social or otherwise, we become side tracked by misleading & unbalanced images of life. That only highlight what those behind the scenes want us to see, never the entire picture of life.
Having been a clinical counselor for decades, I know that other’s lives are not necessarily what they appear or what they may present. There is always a social & cultural public face that is presented in all cultures & societies around the world.
Everyone has challenges in life, everyone will experience sadness, grief, heartache & pain, facing circumstances in life that will cause concern, worry & anxious times. Some will traverse horrific situations.
But many social media postings do not give private & intimate details of these challenging experiences. So what is left is a false impression that everyone’s life is far better & much more than…yours!
Let me personalize this…
Recently, I commented on a new friend’s blog, as they had just attained a great physical feat. And I was genuinely delighted for my new friend.
However, as I wrote out my comment & checked it before hitting the publish/comment button…I was shocked at my statement before me, it read… “I envy your energy…”. I deleted those words from the comment box but not so easily from my mind.
It stopped me in my tracks, as a clinical counselor & behavioral therapist I am fairly self aware, it goes with the territory. However this caught me by surprise. Hmmmm! Time for a little personal reflection…
I had thought I was in the JOMO camp…thinking the following…
As a Fibromyalgia sufferer I could easily become envious of others who are walking in good health & don’t have pain as their daily companion but appear to have boundless energy & vitality in their lives.
When I read fellow blogger’s adventures in climbing mountains, hiking trails, running marathons, walking interesting treks my heart could become discontent in comparison which could lead to envy. But I’m genuinely happy for them, no envy here.
But a little envy had crept in through FOMO in that moment…why?
I realized after some personal reflection, that this particular adventure had pressed a button, one that opened the door of a long held vision of being fit, healthy & active at this age, traversing walking trails & having fun adventures with my husband & family. That I can not do with Fibromyalgia.
Then I realized…
This is counterproductive for my mental, emotional & spiritual health…I am living my best life within the challenges of chronic health conditions that I can possibly live. I know that without a doubt!
So I purposefully went to prayer & journaling…
Then I took the opportunity & chose to truly rejoice in my fellow blogger’s accomplishment & enjoyed their adventure anew. As I traveled with them through their account again, I gained new energy & vitality through their joy, erasing the little green eyed monster.
As you can see I’m still a work in progress & believe one day I’ll be able to echo Paul’s experience in…
“…I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am…
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. “
Philippians 4:11 & 13
So let me leave you with the following thoughts…dear friend…
Are you walking in JOMO or is there a little hidden FOMO lurking there…giving that little green eyed monster the opportunity to jump out at you when you least expect it!
Until next time…
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