I heard a noise at the front door of the homestead, I opened the door & sitting on the welcome mat were my pet cat Bobbie, a Russian Blue & my working dog, an Australian Kelpie, Polly…
Welcome my friend, how lovely to have you drop by for our time of tea & reflection.
I’m reminiscing today…
We have traveled back in time to 2002
Where I have prepared an Australian Afternoon tea blend, its a strong black tea, which I water down with extra boiling water, as its a little too robust for my palate & delicious Gf Lamingtons.
We are sitting on the side verandah of my homestead with the sun warming us in our comfy chairs & a small table, recycled from tractor parts, nestled between us.
We are looking out over the paddocks down to the creek that weaves across the front of our property, birds are singing & sheep are bleating.
Around this time each year, I become a lot quieter & reflective then normal, this is a subconscious behaviour & it’s only when my hubby asks if I’m okay, do I realize its that time again…
When my sweet gentle late husband was diagnosed on April 30, 2002 with brain cancer (Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade 4 ~ was the clinical term).
We only had 12 weeks together after that diagnosis to his final passing in August, 2002.
You see our subconscious minds keep a memory of traumatic events, which quite often precede our conscious memories.
This has an indelible effect upon our emotions & on our behavior.
Back to Bobbie & Polly on the doorstep
Bobbie had been rather naughty & had stayed out all night.
Polly being part of the family decides to have her say in the situation by barking her ‘talking bark’ which is quite hilarious!
They have a love hate relationship these pets of mine, each morning they lovingly greet each other than have spats for the rest of the day!
My thoughts now wander to when my late husband had passed away a few months earlier & I’m now living alone in our rural Homestead set on 800 acres of a working farm.
My stepson & I have reduced the stock to 800 head of fine merino sheep from 1200 & are debating over a cuppa, on this same verandah, as to whether to sow this year’s crops.
We are at the beginning of a major drought
That unbeknownst to us, would last for years. Although we are already hand feeding sheep each morning, from our grain storage & Lucerne hay stores.
“We” are my late husband’s eldest son & I, it has been a traumatic & devastating few months, we are still coming to terms, each in our own way, with this death.
He the death of his Dad & me the death of my beloved husband & work mate!
While it was comforting to be in the home that we had created together & to go out to work the farm each day having my pets as little companions.
Polly beside me working the sheep & Bobbie to greet me when I came home.
There came the time when change would inevitably happen & a new home would become a place of sanctuary for a different season in my life… Shared in Tea by the sea…
Loss & grief, healing & wholeness are a part of life.
But the main thing is how we handle these events in our lives for our continuing wellbeing!
I handle mine with God, as it’s in His strength, comfort & healing that I find solace… Shared in Mending brokenness…
We don’t actually get over the loss of a loved one but we can come to that place of acceptance to move forward in life.
It’s okay to remember our loved one’s & enjoy the happy memories we had with them.
Being kind to ourselves when the sad memories come.
For they will surely arise especially at significant times like anniversaries.
That’s just a part of being human & what we have been created to be…emotional beings!
Well I hope you enjoyed our tea time & Lamingtons.
Thank you for journeying with me back to a difficult time in my life that is now remembered with fondness.
I truly appreciated your company.
If my story has triggered memories for you of your loved one who has passed, enjoy the happy memories & be kind to yourself in the sadder ones…
However, if your life is being significantly impacted by grief, to the point where you can’t maintain your normal life. Then please seek professional help as soon as possible.
For God’s help also comes through others.
Until next time,
You’re most welcome to join me in The Reading Nook
© Jennifer M. Ross, 2018, teawithjennifer.blog All rights reserved. Photo by Pexels.com