As I opened the package labeled “Iced Wine tea” the most beautiful aroma filled the air. I was curious & excited, I hadn’t known there was such a tea available, the instructions indicated it could be enjoyed hot or iced, once brewed.
The aroma & name of this tea had my expectations rather high for a delightful tea adventure. Welcome to our time of reflection…
It is a hot summer’s day, I have brewed the tea & placed enticing cupcakes on a pedestal cake stand. My husband, has his usual Australian black tea & we are sitting surrounded by the beauty of our garden. The preparations are now complete for this anticipated exciting taste adventure…
I pour the cooled amber liquid into my icy glass…I lift it to my lips, closing my eyes to linger in the moment of that very first sip of a new taste…but…my expectations were sadly not met…this tea’s flavor had both an initial & lingering chemical taste that was rather pungent & unpleasant.
This had me pondering upon our reflection today….
Of my own high expectations of this little tea adventure & the desired outcome I had been hoping to experience…
Expectations, are interesting aren’t they…we all have them. We often have expectations of loved ones, relationships, society, ourselves & experiences (like my tea adventure).
The problem with expectations though are that they are constructed from our own perceptions of cultural, familial & personal experience. They involve; a mixture of imaginings, core beliefs, hopes & standards of past experiences & behavior, either positive or negative that have impacted us.
We combine these, to have an anticipated imagined outcome. This can put undue pressure both on the focus of our expectation & upon ourselves. Giving an unrealistic level of expectancy which may result in disappointment.
This then may lead to constructing unfair judgements against whatever or whoever has not meet our expectations.
To be fair, there may be circumstances surrounding the practicality of our unmet expectations…in the case of the tea, it may simply be a bad batch or past its prime.
If it’s an unmet expectation of a loved one in our life, they may not be able to meet our expectations because of circumstances in their own lives, that we are not privileged too or it is simply beyond their capacity in this season of their life.
It is absolutely healthy to look forward to the goals, events, experiences, time with loved ones & our personal bests in our lives, even stretching beyond our comfort zones for new personal growth.
But it is very unhealthy to have expectations of others & ourselves that can never be met because they are unrealistic & have been constructed in our own imaginings.
So, may we be kinder in our expectations of others & ourselves. May we include actual practicality, understanding, love & respect for another if they can not meet our expectations.
May we also include our own realistic personal capacities in what we expect of ourselves & be fluid in the changing seasons of our lives, living our personal bests & enjoying the moments within that season.
Lastly, may we see the beautiful moments in a tea adventure that wasn’t quite the taste experience that was expected but none the less, was a delightful time, with a loving & caring man in the garden he cultivates. With birds chirping & chortling, delicious cup cakes & companionable times of chatting…
Until next time…
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